Chapter 69: Chiharu

(POV Chiharu) 

One late afternoon, towards the end of November, the cold had become unusually intense. We were sitting inside the kotatsu and diligently working on our homework.

“Oh! They’re airing a rerun of Initial D!” 

“It’s quite unusual to have it on at this time.” 

Chiaki and Chinatsu paused their homework, captivated by the car anime playing on TV.

“Both of you should be doing your homework.” 

I intended to give them a warning, but Chifuyu took charge and firmly redirected their attention back to their assignments. I had been planning to intervene, but…… lately, I felt like I hadn’t been fulfilling my role as an older sister.

All three of them had been learning to cook and taking care of things on their own. I refrained from interfering to give them the opportunity to grow, but I wonder if this was causing me to lose some of my dignity as an older sister.

Lately, I no longer am being called “Onee-chan”.

What should I do… My cooking skills are practically non-existent. There’s no use pretending otherwise. Moreover, Chifuyu is taking care of the studying part.

“Oh, let’s ask Kaito about this one.” Chiaki said.

“… Chifuyu can teach you, Aki-nee.” Chifuyu said.

“No, I’ll ask Kaito.”

“No, no, Chifuyu can handle this.”

Chifuyu eagerly jumps in and teaches everything. Well, it was clear that she didn’t want Onii-san to be bothered by our homework… What should I do? M-my dignity and authority as an o-older sister… Do I still have that?

Let’s ask.

“Hey, Chinatsu.”

“Hmm?”

“How do you see me lately, in terms of our relationship as siblings?”

“…I think that you are the same Haru as always.”

“Not that… I mean, as your older sister, as the eldest sister.”

“No, I’m the eldest sister, right?” Chinatsu said.

“Oh, um… yeah…”

Chinatsu was aiming to be the eldest sister. If things continue like this, I’ll lose my position as the older sister. It used to be a reliable, comfortable position to be pampered in…

I need to go back to basics, or rather, reclaim my role as the eldest… I need to grow in some way…

■

(POV Kaito) 

After finishing work, I had dinner, took a bath, and waited in the living room alone, immersed in the soothing glow of the television and waiting for drowsiness to take over. That’s when Chiharu, who was supposed to have gone upstairs, entered the living room. She had a determined expression on her face, her eyes shining brightly.

“Onii-san, could you teach me how to cook?”

“Cooking… It seems like everyone in the family has been enjoying cooking lately.”

“Yes, well… I’m not really good at cooking at all. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to learn.”

“I see.”

It makes me happy that all four of them want me to teach them how to cook, but I’m not sure what to do. Chinatsu said that I should teach her alone, Chifuyu said I should teach only her as well; Chiaki doesn’t say it explicitly but always comes to me for help.

It’s extremely difficult to favor one person over the others.

“If possible, I’d like you to teach just me… I can’t afford to lose any more of my dignity as an older sister.”

“I don’t think your dignity as an older sister has been compromised at all…”

“I want to be relied on and respected more by my younger sisters. It’s my reason for living, and I have nothing else I want to do. Either way, the way things are now isn’t working.”

“I see…”

Well, there was no point in refusing, and no reason to do so. If that’s what she wanted, I wanted to give her my affirmation.

Lately, Chinatsu has been nagging me a bit, and her words felt like pricking needles. Chifuyu may not express it in words, but her eyes seem filled with loneliness. And Chiaki has been relying on me more and more, and it’s just adorable.

If everyone tried to do everything, someone would end up bearing the burden, and that frightened me.

“Alright. Let’s learn cooking together.”

“Thank you.”

I couldn’t really refuse after all. Chiharu never voices anything selfish like her own desires. Chinatsu, Chifuyu, and Chiaki, all of them have this desire to do something for themselves. The strength of their desires varies, and there are individual differences in how much they express those desires.

Nevertheless, they have been gradually expressing their desires more and more.

But Chiharu doesn’t express her own desires at all. This desire to cook, to become capable, to create delicious dishes—it’s not something directed solely at herself. Everything is based on what her sisters want.

I had hoped that would change somewhere along the line.

I must say, I had a decent amount of money. So, I thought if any of the four of them wanted something, I would buy it for them or fulfill their wishes to the best of my ability.

The reason was simple. I wanted them to enjoy life. I wanted them to desire something. I wanted them to see, hear, and experience things they hadn’t been able to before.

I believed that if we lived this way, eventually Chiharu would start expressing her own desires as well. I thought that being in an environment where you could obtain what you wished for would change our daily lives, making familiar things less exciting and making desires and emotions grow stronger, becoming more selfish.

That’s what I thought would happen. However, Chiharu didn’t express her own desires.

Forcing her to do so was something I absolutely wanted to avoid. Especially in her case…

She had her own worries.

Serious worries. And I couldn’t just meddle in them carelessly. I knew that this was real life, so I chose to always be close by her side and all sisters’ side.

However, from the game there were certain standards and occasional glimpses of familiar facts that fit. And if they were there, they inevitably crossed my mind.

It was the first time I thought that my knowledge of the game was a hindrance. Whenever I wanted to do something, the game knowledge would pop up. I even began to think it would be better if I didn’t have that knowledge from the start, as it always seemed to interfere.

How many times would I have to go through this dilemma?

“I can’t cook at all, so please start from the very basics, Onii-san.”

“Alright… Then… Shall we start with washing the rice?”

“Hmm… Onii-san, even I know how to do that much.”

While I was lost in thought, Chiharu’s voice interrupted my contemplation. Perhaps, there was no choice but to continue as I had been… That was the conclusion I reached, the same old inconclusive decision.

――I’m not really able to have a positive impact on Chiharu… I’m just a useless guy…

I felt a bit sentimental, but I quickly tightened my face, unwilling to show it and cause unnecessary worry for Chiharu.

After that, I faced Chiharu, meeting her eyes, and continued the conversation, exchanging words as if peering into her beautiful blue eyes.

“I see, you did know how to wash the rice. Sorry about that.”

“No need to apologize… Um, by the way, you wash the rice with detergent, right…?”

“No, that’s not right. You wash it with plain water.”

“…”

Chiharu… I thought she should at least know not to use detergent when washing the rice.

Hmm, did I misunderstand her words? I glanced at her and noticed that her cheeks have turned red.

“…Could it be that I made a mistake?” I asked.

“…Well, um, I thought maybe as an older sister, it would be good to incorporate some humor…”

“…I see.”

“And also… um, you had this serious expression and looked disappointed, so I wanted to make you smile, in a way… or something like that…”

Her face kept getting redder by the second. It seemed that she was quite embarrassed, so she fanned her face with her hand, trying to cool down. Her eyes darted around, looking at various places.

Observing her like that, I simply found her to be precious. At the same time, I felt happy about Chiharu’s kind gesture of telling a joke just for my sake.

.

“…Did you find that funny just now?” Chiharu asked.

“Eh? …Yeah, it was funny.”

I couldn’t just disregard such kindness. At first, I didn’t even understand the joke, but I still said it was funny. I smiled and tried to create an atmosphere of sincerity. However, Chiharu’s expression grew sullen, and she furrowed her brows.

“…You’re such a liar, Onii-san.”

Her sulking face resembled that of Chinatsu, Chiaki, and Chifuyu. But somehow, it felt different. It’s difficult to put into words, but that’s the impression I had. I had a gut feeling that it was somewhat different.

“I-I didn’t lie.”

“As expected, Onii-san’s expressions are something I can understand after being together for over a year.”

“I see… Was it that obvious?”

“It was quite obvious… Well, you might e one of the ‘easy to read’ people as well, but the intuitive feeling is stronger. It’s like your face gives away the fact that you’re lying.”

“I need to have a better poker face.”

“If it’s you, Onii-san, I think you can really make it seem like you’re serious. But I also think it’s not good to hide it too much. If you push yourself too hard, you might get a fever again.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

T-the conversation feels somewhat cold. Maybe Chiharu was a little upset that I covered up my opinion of her joke from earlier. Actually, she definitely was.

“S-Sorry, for lying and saying it was funny…”

“There’s no need to apologize… It’s my fault for saying something silly.”

“N-No, I think it’s my fault.”

“No, it’s mine.”

She must be stubborn. She was completely engrossed in denying her joke.

“Well, that doesn’t really matter… Anyway, I’ll be counting on you for cooking.” Chiharu said.

“Understood.”

“Please don’t overexert yourself. Everyone worries when something happens to you, Onii-san.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Saying that, Chiharu left the living room with a slightly displeased expression. However, after opening the door, she stopped, keeping her back turned towards me.

“I know that you’re worried about various things and thinking about us. But please take care of yourself too…”

“Yeah, I will. But I’ll also take care of all four of you.”

“…”

Chiharu paused for a second, completely still and without saying a word. I could only see her back. I couldn’t tell what expression she had.

But in the next moment, she laughed slightly and spoke.

“Fufu. Thank you, Onii-san. It always makes me happy when you say that. Good night.”

With those words, Chiharu returned to her room on the second floor.

I thought that nothing had changed, that I hadn’t been able to change anything… but I felt happy, as if something had indeed changed.

◆◆

(POV Chiharu) 

Somehow, my cheeks felt hot. I felt like I had unexpectedly blurted out unnecessary things. I didn’t mean to make a joke. I said it, but it wasn’t funny at all.

Part of it was Onii-san’s fault. I guess I inherited his sense of humor.

As an older sister, I wanted to incorporate a humorous vibe and polish my sense of humor…

I need to try different things and incorporate them to become a better sister, the eldest sister…

With that in mind, I found myself seeking cooking lessons from Onii-san. However, I worried that it might burden him since he had recently taken up teaching Chinatsu, Chiaki, and Chifuyu as well…

That’s why, I resolved to learn from him without becoming a burden. After all, my three younger sisters would worry if anything happened to him.

Yeah… but I’m also a little worried myself…

I felt a slight sense of self-doubt. I was afraid of that. I shook my head and switched back to my usual conviction.

I didn’t need freedom of emotions. It was more enjoyable and satisfying to direct my emotions towards my sisters, rather than towards myself.

I couldn’t afford to be free…

With that thought in mind, as I was about to solidify it, Onii-san’s face flashed briefly in my mind. However, it couldn’t compete with the fear of the past. It couldn’t rival the joy and ease of my current conviction.

As usual…

Having returned to my usual self, a slight feeling of loneliness crept in.

◆◆

(POV Chifuyu)

Chifuyu was in love with Kaito-san…

But I couldn’t express my feelings. The distance between me and Kaito-san hadn’t closed yet. Confessing in such a state would risk damaging our relationship tremendously. Lately, Chifuyu had been deepening her understanding of romance by reading romance manga.

So, first, I wanted to shorten the distance with Kaito-san and get to know him better…

“Hey, hey, Kaito. I want to go somewhere during winter break.”

“Yeah, sure, that sounds good.”

“Let’s go on a trip like last year!”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea, indeed.”

Unfortunately, Aki-nee seemed to monopolize Kaito-san’s attention. He never turned down her requests, always responding with a smile.

We all sat in the kotatsu, eating omelette rice and watching TV. However, even in such a situation, Aki-nee was the closest to Kaito. Chifuyu wanted to somehow sit next to him and have him wipe the ketchup off my mouth too…

Should I intentionally get ketchup on my mouth…? But I can’t do something that messy…

After our meal… I casually took a seat next to Kaito-san. This was the perfect opportunity to ask what I wanted to know…

“Um, K-Kaito-san.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you for some advice?”

“Sure, sure.”

“Um, it’s about a friend of a friend named Fuyumi-chan…”

“Oh… I… see…. So there’s this girl named Fuyumi-chan?”

“Yeah, it seems she likes someone… but the person she likes is about ten years older than her… What should she do?”

“U-uhm… well… let me think…”

I managed to ask. This way, it wasn’t about me directly, and I could subtly learn about Kaito-san’s views on love and his thought process!

“Huh? Fuyumi? Was she even at our school?” Chinatsu asked.

“I haven’t heard of her. What class is she in?” Chiaki inquired.

“…For me, no comment.” Chiharu added.

Sitting together under the kotatsu, Natsu-nee and Aki-nee, questioned Chifuyu about Fuyumi’s story. Ahh, Muu. Why did it have to turn out like this!

If my feelings were revealed, it wouldn’t just be embarrassing. It could create an awkward situation and ruin Chifuyu’s spring of love. I didn’t want my first love to be crushed by such questions.

“Ah, it’s about a girl from a different school. She lives around Kosaka or something,” 

“Oh, I see. No wonder I haven’t heard of her,” Chinatsu responded.

“Me too!” Chiaki added.

Phew, I managed to deceive them somehow. Okay, now let’s hear Kaito-san’s thoughts.

“Uh, well, regarding Fuyumi-chan’s situation… Well, I guess it’s her choice… It’s difficult… Ten years… Love doesn’t always depend on age… But if an elementary school kid likes someone ten years older… they’d probably decline… Well, it’s not a definitive answer though…”

“… I-I guess you’re right.”

I felt a bit sad… Well, I expected that kind of response anyway…

I have to be careful not to tear up…

But… it’s good that I got to know that he doesn’t dismiss the idea completly. Let’s try to see it in a positive light.

“Chifuyu! Are you okay!?”

“Aki-nee, I’m fine.”

Seeing my slightly sad expression, Aki-nee stepped in to support me. Aki-nee is kind and dependable, despite the frustration I feel at times due to her monopolizing Kaito-san’s attention … but I can’t hate her…

Besides, it doesn’t seem like there are any romantic feelings involved… right? We won’t become rivals, will we?

Sometimes, I worry, but I want to believe it’s just my imagination.

Moreover, Chifuyu doesn’t have the luxury of concerning herself with other people’s love lives. I’ve learned at least something about Kaito-san… so I suppose today is good enough. I’ll find another opportunity to have a private conversation with him someday.

A mischievous thought crossed my mind just now. But Aki-nee is also occupied with her own monopolies of Kaito-san, and Natsu-nee is busy with her personal cooking lessons alongside him… so there shouldn’t be any issues, right?

Reassuring myself, I yearned to take another step closer to Kaito-san, and I began a fantasy simulation in my mind of what I would say to him if I could create that opportunity for Chifuyu myself.

***************

TN: Chifuyu really said a friend of a friend. Sooo innocent.