(TN So it seems like Chinatsu only planned to divulge her own powers and not anyone else’s, but by divulging her own, If Kaito had been unaware from the beginning, he would have gotten suspicious of all the girls having powers. That’s probably the reason Chinatsu asked for her sister’s permission first)
(POV Chiharu)
Today, we didn’t do the usual things we enjoyed— savoring a graceful snack time at home after finishing classes, and watching the 4 o’clock drama rerun together. It wasn’t that we were tense or on edge, but there lingered a peculiar feeling of unease, preventing us from laughing or having carefree moments.
Around the table, Chiaki’s mouth quivered suspiciously, Chifuyu anxiously fidgeted, desperate to hear the truth quickly, and I simply wanted to know the truth, no longer caring about anything else. Chinatsu, however, crossed her arms, carefully choosing her words in her mind.
“I’ve gathered my thoughts… However, I’d like to say it first. I’m sure there are things about my actions that none of you will agree with, so let me apologize. I’m sorry,”
Chintasu bowed her head. I didn’t quite understand the meaning behind it. Seeing Chinatsu bow her head and sincerely apologize was something I hadn’t witnessed before. Somehow, an indescribable sense of unease washed over me.
I felt restless. Part of me wanted to pretend I hadn’t heard anything and let it all pass as if nothing had happened. But Chinatsu wouldn’t stop. Her words carried weight, burdening all of us. Before we knew it, both Chiaki and Chifuyu showed signs of anxiety, and their expressions started to crumble.
“You see, I—”
How long have I waited for those words? No, perhaps I had feared them. There might have been joy mixed in too, and even hesitation. It could be that everything was tangled together in a jumble. I don’t know what we truly felt at that moment. But one thing I do know is that each one of us—Chiaki, Chifuyu, and myself—interpreted those words differently.
Chiaki was angry. Despite urging against it with tears in her eyes, Chinatsu had acted of her own accord. Chifuyu remained silent, unable to say anything. Frustrated with the situation, Chiaki left the house and waited for someone in front of the entrance.
All I could do was watch, unable to do anything else.
◆
(POV Chiaki)
I was aware of being the world’s most spoiled child. Since I was little, I longed for someone I could feel secure with, someone who would laugh, hug me, and call my name “Chiaki” countless times.
I always followed behind my older sister, all the time, every time. She didn’t give me many smiles, but I kept running after her nonetheless. I followed my mother, too. She didn’t give me many smiles either, but I hoped that maybe at some point, she would smile or call my name properly, and there were times when I tried to help her out.
I washed the dishes and clumsily folded the laundry. I wanted her to praise me, to pat my head, so I shyly brought my head closer. However, my mother didn’t do any of that for me.
“What? It’s only natural that you do these things, right?”
“Yes…”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, you spilled rice all over there! Don’t call me; I have a hangover!”
“I-I’m sorry…”
“Enough, just go over there. I’m going to make a call now. If I hear a child’s voice in the background, it’ll be the worst.”
I was feeling sad, so I bit my lower lip and stayed silent as always. If I cried, I would be scolded and disliked. I thought it must be because I didn’t understand my mother’s feelings, so I felt guilty. That’s why when I started to understand emotions, and I gained the ability to grasp everything through telepathy, I felt a little bit of happiness too.
However,
“She’s creepy… Why can she read my thoughts?”
“We don’t need a child like this.”
“Can someone just take them away?”
“It’s creepy, really creepy. I wish they would disappear.”
“I wish they were dead.”
I felt like something important inside me had been wounded. I lost all hope, and all that remained were fear, dissatisfaction, and my dear sisters. They were the only ones who accepted me. I stopped using my superpowers once I learned to control them because I didn’t know what I would cling to in life if my sisters even slightly denied me deep down.
For me, if we had a close but fake relationship and they treated me well, that would be fine. However, I didn’t want to know that. If I remained unaware, it would be a convenient, pure love at 100%. Even if I disliked it, as long as I didn’t show it in my attitude, it would be fine. There’s nothing worse than the fear of knowing someone’s true feelings.
Even if they cared deeply for me, there might be moments when they found me bothersome or annoying. Yet, I dreaded hearing such thoughts, as it frightened me to think that the person holding my hand might one day leave. I’m sure they wouldn’t like it if they knew that the other person could know everything. Being together might turn into pain. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to even consider such possibilities.
“Ah, Chiaki-chan.”
I was leaning against the door in front of the entrance when someone called my name. When I looked, there were two of my female classmates.
“Is this Chiaki-chan’s house?”
“Yeah…”
“Oh, I see.”
We weren’t extremely close, but we talked to each other sometimes. Suddenly, I became curious. I wondered what they thought of me.
“Aah, Chiaki-chan is so cute; it’s easy for her to get along with everyone, and everyone is pampering her.”
“She seems a bit sly, though, and because she acts all nice in front of others, people talk behind her back.”
“Well then, we’re heading off now.”
“Bye-bye!”
Was there really something like that going on behind my back? I was astonished to think that some people saw me that way. It made me feel sad, but not too much. Somehow, I had a feeling that I might be disliked, and even if I were, it wouldn’t hurt me that much, except when it came to those who were truly important to me.
But even with such thoughts, there was still a slight ache. That’s why, if the person who mattered so much to me had those feelings… I decided to wait for him.
I didn’t really want to know what he thought. But I couldn’t just remain silent anymore, or he might think I was keeping something from him, even though he was willing to open up to me.
Either way, I felt trapped. If I told him, he might reject me, but if I didn’t, he might think I didn’t trust him. But I didn’t want to say it…
This was something only I could understand. It was a frightening fear that was hard to accept. I wanted to believe that he would be someone who could understand and accept it. But, just in case…
I had been pondering and worrying, and before I knew it, the evening was approaching. I kicked a pebble as I waited for him. It was around the usual time, and my stomach slightly growled when his car passed right in front of me. He parked, and then he got out of the car.
“I’m back…”
“Welcome back…Kaito.”
He spoke gently as always and could probably tell that something was bothering me from my expression. He extended his hand, and with his right hand, he gently held onto my right hand.
“…It’s going to be alright…. Let’s talk inside for now.”
“Yeah…”
――I love him.
I loved everything about him—the way he held my hand, his voice, and his heart. I wished he could envelop all of me, just like how his hand did. I didn’t want to be apart from him, and I didn’t want him to leave me either. I wanted him to stay by my side forever, and I wanted to stay by his side forever.
“Kaito, listen…”
“Ah, of course.”
He kneeled down to meet my gaze. I hugged him, placing my hand around his neck, trying to hide my tearful face. I was scared, and I didn’t want to say it. I didn’t want to be denied or rejected. But deep down, I wanted him to accept me…
Even if I were to say this and he rejected me, I wouldn’t let go of his hand. If he denied me, I might stay like this, just like this, forever.
“――I want you to know…”
◆◆
“Chinatsu…”
“…”
On the second-floor balcony, I spoke to Chinatsu, who was looking worriedly at Chiaki waiting by the entrance. Chifuyu was also present in the same room, not saying anything but consistently directing a concerned gaze toward us.
“Chinatsu, why did you tell him?”
“Because I believed in Kaito. But I knew that if I said I wanted to tell him, she’d definitely oppose it. It’s the same with Haru; I know you don’t want me to tell him.”
“… “
“I wanted to take the plunge this time.《《Just like how Aki indirectly showed us first that we could trust Kaito》》. I felt like I should be the one taking action. At worst, if I got rejected, I could take the burden of it all.”
“I see.”
So that’s what she had been contemplating. On the other hand, I had never even entertained such thoughts.
“Thank you.”
“…Well, this is normal.”
“I see.”
“…Well, I’m sure Aki will be fine. Kaito will accept her. I’m certain of it.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Yes, I do. I have a good eye for people. I think you should speak your mind too.”
“…You’re probably right.”
But what’s the point of saying it? It wouldn’t change anything. Even if I said it, the essence of who we are would remain the same.
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