Melana found Monia’s presence uncomfortable.
It was only natural. Monia reminded her too much of her past self.
Specifically, she made Melana imagine the fate she would’ve met if she had never encountered her friend, Jeff.
That’s why every time she saw Monia, Melana couldn’t help but feel uneasy.
If Jeff had given up on her, she would’ve ended up exactly like Monia.
“……”
Melana hid near the front door, watching Monia.
As she listened to Monia’s sobs, collapsed and clutching the urn, she felt an old wound throb once more.
***
A few days had passed since I gave Monia Luda’s urn.
During that time, I made periodic visits to check in on how the Misfit group was doing.
Honestly, I didn’t have much else to do.
Since my body hadn’t fully recovered yet, I was only doing light sword training, and Olga Hermod’s magic training sessions were short.
Still, the fact that Olga Hermod’s training continued at all was the real struggle.
I thought it was just an excuse to catch Yuna, but no….she was actually giving me proper training.
Thanks to that, my mind was worn to shreds.
“I’m sorry, doctor. But mental issues are hard to heal.”
“It’s fine.”
Helena had used the power of the Prophet when she saw how tired I looked, but I guess divine power can’t easily fix problems of the mind.
Well, I guess that’s why Kult was so good at sweet-talking people into following him.
If you want to heal someone’s mind, your mouth really is your most important tool.
“Thinking back on it, maybe big brother wasn’t as great as people thought. This power isn’t all-powerful, after all.
But people expected miracles from him as if he were a god just because he was the Prophet.
I wonder how much he had to struggle to bridge that gap.”
Helena gave a sheepish smile.
She looked a bit bitter, too.
“Don’t let it get to you too much. You’re still young; you’ve got room to grow. And Kult must’ve had a reason for trusting you enough to leave everything in your hands.”
“You think so?”
“Of course.”
“……”
“What is it, Mephistopheles? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
Ugh, this guy’s being creepy again.
Lately, he’s been acting like a fool more often than not, but a demon is still a demon. It’s best not to take him too lightly.
No matter how much of a joke he seems, I shouldn’t ever let my guard down.
“Johan Damus likes little girls. Got it. I’ll remember that.”
“What the hell is wrong with you, you lunatic?”
Watch your damn mouth. Are you trying to get me socially destroyed?
And more importantly…why would you remember that?
What the hell are you planning?
“Ahaha… You two really do seem close.”
“Me? With this guy?”
“Yes. You remind me of my brother and Dietrich.”
“Uh…”
Maybe Kult and Dietrich’s relationship wasn’t quite what I had imagined.
For someone who always dominated the room with a calm, gentle presence, it’s hard to picture Kult being so raw and blunt.
Then again, when I think about it, Kult was also from the backstreets, just like Dietrich.
So maybe he had a pretty foul mouth, too, in his own way.
“By the way, did you come to see Monia again today?”
“I came to see all of you. If I were here just to see Monia specifically, that wouldn’t make much sense. I’m not that close with her.”
“Well… that’s true.”
Honestly, even when we do meet, our conversations don’t last very long.
We weren’t that close to begin with, and now… how should I put it….Monia felt like ashes left after a fire.
She doesn’t show intense emotions like she used to.
No matter what you say to her, she just seems drained, like someone who’s given up.
That part worries me a bit.
Still, I don’t think she’ll spiral into anything as extreme as before.
“What about Dietrich and Jeff?”
“They’re training again today.
Seems like they’ve got more to learn from each other than they expected.”
“That makes sense.”
If it was purely about swordsmanship, Dietrich could easily overpower Jeff.
But when it came to real combat experience, Jeff had the clear advantage.
So regardless of their individual skills, they’re in a position to learn from one another.
Though I have no idea what they plan to do with all that strength once they get stronger.
“And Melana? Come to think of it, I haven’t run into her much lately.”
Melana has always had a ghost-like presence….faint and barely noticeable.
That’s probably a side effect of the dark magic, but she’s also just a quiet person by nature.
“Hmm… Melana seems to have a lot on her mind lately too. I’m worried about her. I wish there were something I could do, but a soul damaged by dark magic can’t be restored.”
It’s the same with Monia’s situation. And Melana’s as well.
Divine power wasn’t all-powerful.
That’s probably why Helena felt so helpless.
But… that’s the right way to feel.
“That’s how it is. There’s no such thing as a power that can fix everything so easily. Why else do you think people keep researching and working so hard? The moment you start to believe you can handle everything by yourself, your perspective narrows.”
“…Like big brother?”
“No. Kult feared that exact thing precisely because he understood it so well.”
Back in the early days, he wasn’t actually all that powerful—
Though, of course, even then he was stronger than I am now…
Kult was strong because he was fully aware of his own limits.
He was meticulous. He set up his situations and environments so there were never any openings.
“Just like there’s no such thing as a power that can fix everything, there’s also no such person who can do everything alone. So don’t focus only on what you can do. Learn to see what the people around you can do too.”
“Got it!”
That was advice based on real experience.
I mean, just look at me.
There’s barely anything I can do by myself. But what I am good at is putting people to use in the right places.
“Johan Damus. Here you are again, showing that shameless face of yours.”
“Do you not know how to say ‘hello’? Monia.”
While I was busy giving Helena emotional guidance so she wouldn’t go astray, Monia showed up.
She had a large bag slung over her back, and even without asking, it was obvious what she was thinking.
“Leaving?”
“Mhmm.”
“Take care.”
“Sure.”
Monia was planning to leave.
I didn’t ask where she was going. I couldn’t ask someone who had decided to start a new life to leave behind any trace.
Just the fact that she was setting off on a journey told me she had made a big decision.
“Johan.”
“Yeah?”
“Take care. If we ever run into each other by chance someday, I hope we can talk and laugh about it.”
“Not sure. I feel like the moment you see my face, you’ll scowl.”
She was glaring at me like she disapproved even now. She really thought we’d be able to have a candid conversation if we met again later?
“Well then, I’m off. Thanks for finding my sister’s urn.”
“Yeah. It was disgusting seeing you again. Let’s not meet ever again.”
Considering everything we’d been through, it was a pretty bland farewell.
But I liked that about it. Being able to part ways like nothing had happened meant there was just as much chance we could meet again like nothing had happened.
Our tangled relationship had been sorted out.
Instead of unraveling the tightly wound threads one by one, we had just cut them.
The bond was severed. But whether the ends of that thread might meet again one day, that remained to be seen.
I could only hope that if we did, it wouldn’t be as complicated as it was now.
***
Monia had left, but that didn’t mean I left the base of the Misfits behind as well.
If I went back just because Monia had left, wouldn’t it seem like I had come all this way just to see her?
I decided to help Helena with her studies. With all the so-called guardians constantly wandering around outside, there was no other choice.
“Carbon… O! Is that right?”
“Carbon is C.”
“Aw, so close! I almost got it right.”
“Almost where?”
As expected, hopeless.
She used to lie in bed all day, and after her health improved, she became a criminal. So it couldn’t be helped.
Besides, she was still just a kid.
But I was the one who even managed to reform that idiot Tillis. Someone like Helena should be easy.
“Well, if you break off a piece of the O, it becomes a C!”
“Not exactly wrong.”
A very childlike way of thinking.
Maybe I needed to start with more of the basics?
Or maybe I should start by teaching her how to read.
Still, I had to give her credit for creativity.
Maybe this kid’s a genius.
Anyway…
“Teacher? What’s wrong?”
“No, it’s nothing. I just feel like I saw something like this not too long ago.”
I looked down at the notebook with the torn-off corner and thought.
The letter O can also symbolize a cycle.
The force that draws a perfect circle also represents reincarnation.
The goal of Under Chain was to break that cycle of reincarnation.
Why did the Great Sage meet with the Emperor?
The words from the Oracle the other day flashed through my mind. It was something I really didn’t want to know….and now it had left me feeling dizzy.
Why was I even worrying about this? They could deal with it themselves…
More importantly, why was I feeling uneasy?
Was there any reason to feel unsettled just from looking at a single letter of the alphabet?
Or was it…
“Am I missing something?”
Why did Under Chain come to mind at a moment like this?
***
A ring symbolizes a cycle.
The Great Sage Faust sought to break that cycle and to erase death itself.
It wasn’t hard to imagine why.
Anyone who had ever felt the pain of loss might think the same way.
“Great Sage.”
“I knew you’d come, Melana.”
“You have so many followers, and yet you remember me.”
“How could I claim to understand someone if I don’t even remember them?”
Melana had made her way to Under Chain’s sacred ground. The graveyard.
It was an easy task for her. She had once been part of Under Chain, and the chain she carried had always guided her path.
Under Chain hadn’t forgiven her betrayal, but Faust didn’t seem to feel anything in particular toward her.
Or at least, it didn’t seem like he did.
“Wait just a moment.”
Faust spoke while cleaning a gravestone. Tending to this vast graveyard was also part of his role.
It might have seemed like a trivial task, but the hands tending to the dead’s rest moved with care and precision.
The madman who sought to eliminate death from this world was more keenly aware of its weight than anyone else.
“You seem awfully relaxed.”
“Time is the only thing I have.”
Faust replied flatly, unfazed by Melana’s sarcasm.
Only after finishing his work around the grave did Faust finally turn his head to face Melana’s sullen expression.
“People fear death. And the reasons vary. Because they don’t know what comes after… because they fear falling into hell for the sins they’ve committed… and…”
Faust looked at Melana.
At first, she had begged him to bring her dead friend back to life.
“It’s the pain of loss.”
A world without death.
A world where no one would have to experience parting.
Melana had once given everything for that hopeless dream, only barely escaping thanks to Jeff’s help.
Yes, she had left the past behind.
She no longer spent her days mourning a death long gone.
Now, she lived facing forward and was able to think about the future.
Jeff had made that possible.
“There were many who felt the same pain you did. And many who overcame the pain of loss, just like you.”
“There must be some who didn’t.”
“Yes. That’s why I seek to drive death out of this world. For their sake.”
Clink.
Faust reached out his hand.
The chain connected to his wrist dragged along the ground behind him.
“But Melana, I know. I know all the pain that comes with death. What you fear now isn’t the pain of the past or death itself.”
“……”
“You’re afraid of the ones who will be left behind after you’re gone.”
Melana bit her lip hard.
The title of Great Sage was no empty name. He had pinpointed her fear with unsettling precision.
“You know the pain of loss. But you also know how to overcome it. That’s why you’re afraid.”
Melana had seen Monia break down in tears.
She was no different from the Melana of the past.
But there was one crucial difference between them.
It was the presence or absence of someone to hold them up.
Melana had Jeff. Monia had no one.
That single difference….just one person was enough to break Monia.
“That method… it doesn’t lie within you but in those around you. Humans can’t live alone. So, someone left alone can’t survive.”
“……”
After a long and painful journey, Monia was finally able to begin a new life.
But that was nothing short of a miracle.
People aren’t that strong.
And the world isn’t that kind.
There’s no guarantee that such a miracle will come to everyone.
“I… didn’t care if I died.”
Melana didn’t have long to live. Her use of dark magic had already shortened her lifespan.
Even with the power of a prophet, it was impossible to restore a consumed soul.
Demons crave the souls of others because their own souls have been damaged.
They act in order to fill that void with anything they can find.
But dark magic is different.
Dark magic doesn’t damage the soul… it burns it, using the soul itself as fuel.
That’s why there’s no void left to fill.
Like ice melting away, the soul simply diminishes in form until it vanishes completely.
And so, Melana would die.
In the not-so-distant future.
It was the karma she had accumulated, the price she had to pay.
But…
“If I die… what will happen to that fool who threw everything away for me…?”
She knew the pain of loss.
That was why she could imagine the future that would come after her death.
Jeff who had given up everything to save her…what kind of expression would he wear when faced with her death?
She had freed herself from the pain of the past and learned to look toward the future.
“I want to live… just a little longer.”
And so, now she feared the future. A future without herself in it.
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