Ding—
“……”
“……”
It was my third time entering the café.
At this point, the clerk looked at me with eyes that made it perfectly clear that I was now seen as the enemy of women.
I mean, who comes to the same café three times in a single day, meets a different girl each time, and always in a private room meant for confidential conversations?
Even I would’ve cursed someone like that out as the worst kind of bastard.
Avoiding the clerk’s heavy gaze, I knocked on the door of Room 2 which now felt like my second home—
“Come in.”
That familiar voice filled with haughty dignity welcomed me.
“Why are you so late? Sit down already.”
I wasn’t late. Technically, I’d been here since two hours ago.
Still, I swallowed the urge to argue and quietly sat down across from our esteemed noble lady.
“Tch. Why do I have to spend my first café date with a guy like you?”
Apparently, she was deeply disappointed that her dreamy date at a café had been replaced by me.
Zero confessions, three rejections. Hmm, what a record. They didn’t even let me throw the ball before they kicked it away.
With just these three, winning the World Cup wouldn’t be a dream.
“I’ll get straight to the point. You—”
“Want to get together with Pollo, right? So you came to me, his best friend, to ask for all the little details about him.”
“…What— Even though you look clueless, you’ve got good instincts, huh?”
It wasn’t instinct. This was the result of repeated experience.
Just like they say, only someone who’s eaten meat knows its taste. Only someone who’s been rejected a bunch knows exactly how it goes.
“I don’t plan to just ask you for free. I’ll pay you, of course. Every time you provide me with up-to-date information on Pollo, I’ll compensate you. And if I actually manage to end up with him, I’ll give you an even bigger reward.”
What the—?
This was a very different offer from the two women I met earlier.
Unlike the ones before who only resorted to power-backed threats or religious preaching, she was a woman who knew how to calculate clearly when making a request.
My favorability toward the noble lady skyrocketed.
“Leave it to me. I’ll even find out what kind of underwear Pollo’s sleeping in tonight.”
“Th-That much detail isn’t necessary… Ahem. B-But, well, if you really want to tell me, I won’t stop you.”
Even while blushing, she showed interest in such extremely private information. That little glimpse of a tsundere side was undeniable.
So this proud noble lady didn’t confess to him directly and came to me instead because… this is her personality?
Just like those heroines from manga. They were aloof and full of pride but utterly devoted when it came to the one they liked.
I found myself silently admiring her clear and distinct character.
“…Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Oh, no reason. That kind of position often ends up being the main wife, surprisingly.”
“?”
“It’s nothing. Ah, by the way, did you ask someone else to write that letter for you?”
“Of course not. Since I’m the one making the request, I had to write it myself. I didn’t have much in the way of stationery, so I just picked whatever I had lying around.”
My last remaining sliver of faith.
Tears welled up at the realization that not all three letters I received had been written by muscle men.
“Wh-What?! Why are you crying all of a sudden?”
“It’s nothing… I was just overwhelmed with joy at the noble lady’s mercy. How you saved me from plunging headfirst into the gravitational pull of despair. Please don’t mind me.”
“What are you even talking about…”
The noble lady looked at me as if I were insane, but realizing that it wasn’t yet time for me to depart this life, I was genuinely grateful to her for stopping me while I was busy contemplating how to fall in a way that would hurt the least.
“Anyway, just keep that in mind, and bring me everything you’ve got that could be considered information about your childhood friend, got it?”
***
After finishing the meeting with the third “client”, I returned to my room and began to seriously think about the situation.
Three heroines. A request to gather information on those heroines.
In the original story, the protagonist had always been alone, having grown up in a remote territory with no interaction with peers and being obsessed only with the sword.
The protagonist’s meetings with the heroines had occurred purely by chance, but now, with the emergence of my existence as an extra in this world, their attention had instead turned toward me.
Just like the saying “shoot the messenger before the general”, they probably approached me first as someone who knew Pollo well in an effort to secure an advantage when it came to capturing Pollo’s heart.
In other words, as long as Polo considered me his best friend, my value could skyrocket without limit.
“If I play this right…”
Our territory had always suffered from financial difficulties.
With no specialty products or notable tourist attractions, we had to rely solely on taxes from the residents. But with the recent string of poor harvests, Father had opened the family’s storage to support the people, and as a result, all the household’s funds had been completely drained.
Father prioritized the residents, so I had no real objections to that. However, if things continued this way, we would have to consider taking out private loans. And if the situation worsened, I had even been thinking of reluctantly bringing out that, though it would be a hassle—
“If I can take advantage of this opportunity to extract some money, I won’t have to go that far.”
After sending the same message to all three communication stones, I began devising a brilliant plan that would benefit everyone. Be it sister, brother-in-law, heroines, or even the extra.
***
An empty classroom in the old academy building.
I was waiting for some people inside a classroom in this building that was now abandoned and being used as a warehouse.
Click, clack—
I heard footsteps, and then the princess with the familiar blonde hair entered the classroom.
Her voluminous hair, cascading down to her waist, was brushed aside with a casual sweep as she fixed me with a cold glare.
“…Why did you call me to such a secluded place? Have you already finished organizing the matter I asked about yesterday?”
It seemed she was clearly unsettled by the fact that she’d been summoned alone to such a gloomy spot. I could see her glancing around warily, ready to flee at a moment’s notice.
“Please don’t worry. Do you think I’ve gone mad enough to lay a hand on a princess? It’s just that there are still others we’re waiting for, so please wait a little longer.”
“Wait….‘others’? What do you mean by that—?”
Before the princess could finish her question, the door behind us opened, and another woman cautiously peeked her head in.
“Brother Mars? Are you in here?”
The saintess, seemingly uneasy, didn’t step fully into the room.
The princess turned around at the unfamiliar voice, and upon recognizing the new arrival, her face contorted in surprise.
“S-Saintess? Why are you here?”
“P-Princess? I could ask you the same…”
The leader of political power and the leader of religious power.
Seeing the two women who each held considerable authority standing there awkwardly without so much as a proper greeting was, in its own way, a little funny.
Was it the feeling that whoever greeted first would lose? Just as the invisible tension between the two women reached its peak, the final woman arrived at the classroom.
“Phew… Of all places, why pick such a dusty room? Honestly, do you know how bad dust is for your skin… Huh?”
Lady Selene, who had entered while grumbling, froze in place the moment she saw the imperial princess and the saintess in front of her.
Like that meme of the three Spider-Men pointing at each other, the three women stood there, each trying to figure out why they had all ended up in the same place.
“Y-Your Highness?! And even the Saintess? What on earth is going on here?”
“Lady of House Eus? Why are you here?”
“Huh? Uhh—uhh?”
“All right, let’s cut the small talk and focus, shall we?”
When I redirected the conversation, Princess Asteria, perhaps misunderstanding the situation as some kind of scheme, stormed toward me furiously.
“You! What is the meaning of this? Are you trying to threaten me by hiring others to corner me?!”
“I appreciate your imagination, but that’s quite a leap. How exactly would someone like me, the son of a humble baron family, manage to recruit both the saintess and the noble lady?”
“Th-That’s…”
Even she seemed to realize how absurd her accusation was and was momentarily at a loss for words.
I clapped my hands to gather their attention and decided to explain the situation.
“Now then, the reason I’ve gathered you all here today is… because each of you has asked to become Pollo’s partner.”
“!!”
“!!”
“!!”
The shocked expressions on the three women’s faces.
Truly, a magnificent sight.
It seemed they were all equally stunned by the realization that women they couldn’t possibly ignore had fallen for the same man.
“I’d like to help each of you, but if this were to come out later, it could cause me all sorts of trouble. That’s why I decided to bring you here in advance and explain everything.”
“…I understand that you had your reasons. But did you really have to gather all of us together like this?”
“Yes. I did. Because from here on, I plan to make you an offer you can’t refuse.”
“An offer?”
With all three beauties staring straight at me, I took the first step in putting my plan into action.
“I intend to become your love consultant.”
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