It’s been a week since Shishiroka collapsed.
The reason, unsurprisingly, was the Seed of Banna.
Shishiroka had always been frail because of it.
But now, the seed was consuming her body faster than expected—
To the point that even her teenage body could no longer endure it.
She was confined to bed.
Her legs couldn’t support her anymore and kept giving out beneath her.
Raphael took care of her for several days.
But even her holy magic was helpless against Shishiroka’s condition.
In the end, Shishiroka couldn’t get out of bed anymore.
Sunlight streamed into the room.
Shishiroka stared blankly out the window.
Outside, two sparrows sat chirping on a tree branch,
They were happily chattering about who-knows-what.
“Senior Shishiroka.”
“Ah, junior Haru.”
At my voice, Shishiroka turned to face me.
In just a week, she had grown noticeably thinner.
Her arms were skinny, and her legs were in even worse shape.
It had only been a week, yet her condition had rapidly declined.
Maybe she had been at her limit for a long time already—
She had just been pretending to be fine.
Her body had been broken and dying for quite a while now.
Beside Shishiroka lay a book.
It was a holy magic theory textbook.
She still hadn’t given up on learning holy magic.
Whether it produced results or not, she stayed the course.
“Today, you know, Master Raphael bullied me again.”
I cheerfully shared what had happened today,
doing my best to sound cheerful in front of Shishiroka.
It had become part of my daily routine.
Shishiroka listened to my stories with a look of enjoyment, sometimes even laughing.
Lately, when I ran out of things to talk about, I’d tell her stories about Earth.
To her, everything seemed fascinating. Her eyes would often sparkle with wonder.
“When you get better, let’s go see it together someday.”
I never forgot to end with a hopeful line, to lift her spirits.
“Yes, that sounds really fun.”
But Shishiroka never actually said she would go with me.
Another month quietly passed.
My progress with holy magic began to show real results.
Raphael hadn’t been lying when she said I had talent.
Meanwhile, Shishiroka kept growing thinner.
Her arms and legs had become almost skeletal, and the rest of her body wasn’t much better.
Her chest had sunken in to the point her ribs were visible, and her cheeks had hollowed out.
Recently, she even lost consciousness once, and Raphael had to rush over in the middle of the night.
Still, the holy magic textbook remained at Shishiroka’s side.
She spent more and more time asleep.
When she did wake up, she would give a faint smile in response to my greeting.
These days, I told her more exaggerated stories.
I had loved reading as a kid, so I had plenty of tales to share.
Shishiroka would often laugh at my dramatic expressions.
She still had plenty of laughter in her.
Another month passed.
Just like Raphael had said, my seed was incredibly solid.
It refused to crack, and there was no sign of a sprout appearing anytime soon.
Becoming a true holy mage was proving harder than I’d expected.
Shishiroka could no longer stay awake for even two hours a day.
She spent most of her time asleep.
When she woke, she could barely distinguish dreams from reality.
I sat at her bedside, chatting with her like always.
But her laughter had grown quieter than before.
So I acted even more exaggeratedly than usual.
And that made her smile…just a little.
A week passed.
During that time, Shishiroka once slept for two full days.
Raphael even stayed by her side for an entire day—
That’s how close to the end her condition had become.
“Junior Haru.”
As we spoke during one of her rare moments awake, she called out to me.
“If Shishiroka had a talent like yours, do you think I could’ve lived a little longer?”
She meant talent as a holy mage.
I hadn’t even fully blossomed into mine yet—
But Shishiroka envied that talent all the same.
Because if she’d had it, she might’ve had a chance to live.
“Shishiroka… had so many things she wanted to do. I wanted to visit World 2, go on adventures…And one day, get married, have children…”
They were the kinds of dreams anyone might have once in their life.
Shishiroka had those dreams, too.
“But… maybe it was all too greedy of me.”
She gave a weak smile.
At some point, I had taken her hand.
“How is that greedy?”
Shishiroka looked at me.
“Dreaming… is something anyone should be able to do. If people start calling that greed, then this world is broken.”
Everyone dreams.
And if simply dreaming becomes something others call selfish or excessive,
Then that’s a world that deserves to fall.
“Shishiroka, you gave it everything you had. There’s no one who has the right to call that greed.”
At some point, I had dropped the honorifics and formal tone.
I was no longer putting up a wall between us.
Shishiroka stared at me blankly.
Then, slowly, her lips curved upward.
“You’re right. Shishiroka… really did try, right?”
“Yeah. You really did.”
I knew that better than anyone—
How she would stay up every night, struggling to study holy magic.
But now, she no longer looked at her holy magic theory book.
She had memorized the entire theory book—
So now, every time she woke up, she would practice holy magic.
I saw it with my own eyes.
Who could possibly say someone like her didn’t try hard enough?
“Then… I’m glad.”
Shishiroka slowly closed her eyes.
“Because Shishiroka was someone who never gave up. Not even at the end.”
“Shishiroka.”
I called her name.
I knew it instinctively.
That once she closed her eyes today…
She wouldn’t be waking up again.
This was the end.
What should I say to someone at their very end?
After a brief hesitation, my lips moved.
“My ability… it’s resurrection magic.”
I gripped her hand tightly.
If you asked me whether I’d truly grown close to Shishiroka—
I’m not sure I could say yes.
We’d only known each other for a few months.
And even then, we hadn’t shared that much, especially after she collapsed.
But she had fought so desperately to live.
Not with fear, but with blood-spitting determination.
She was the most hardworking person I’d met in this uncivilized world.
And in front of someone like her,
I couldn’t bring myself to lie. Not even about my ability.
“If it’s me… I can bring you back. I will bring you back. No matter what.”
Her eyelids fluttered open, faintly.
“You said you wanted to see the ocean, right? I’ll go find a carriage or something. We’ll go. And we’ll visit World 2 too. I’ll become a great holy mage soon, and then we’ll go. And finally, we’ll cross over to Earth as well. There’s so much we still have to do.”
I declared it.
That I would bring her back—
That I would take her with me.
She looked at our intertwined hands.
Then looked at me.
And gave a weak smile.
“Really? That sounds fun.”
But even now—
She still didn’t say she’d go with me.
“Really… that sounds like so much fun.”
Shishiroka’s voice faded away.
The strength drained from her hand.
Her collapsing body sank into the bed.
There was still warmth in her hand.
But it was the kind of warmth that could vanish at any moment.
Light leaked from my clenched fist.
It was resurrection magic I used for the first time since I did on old man bulldog. I cast it to save Shishiroka.
The light spread along the windowpane.
My light seeped into Shishiroka’s body.
The white glow dimmed.
Before I knew it, only silence remained in the room.
But Shishiroka did not wake.
She lay still, her eyes peacefully closed, without the slightest movement.
“Shishiroka.”
To be honest, I’d had a feeling.
Resurrection magic was, without a doubt, magic that brought someone back to life.
But all it really did was restore them to the state they were in just before death.
If holy magic could extend a person’s life, then death from old age wouldn’t exist in this world.
If that were the case, Raphael would have long since fixed Shishiroka’s body.
Even if you bring someone back, if their lifespan has ended, they die again.
A body that’s reached its physical limit can’t be saved. Not even with holy magic.
That one exception, the one person resurrection magic might not be able to save.
I had always been aware of that possibility.
And because of that, right up to the very end—
I hesitated to tell Shishiroka the truth.
In the end, I gave her nothing but false hope… and let her go.
No.
Shishiroka must have known, too.
She had studied the theory of holy magic more than anyone else.
From the moment she heard what I said, she must’ve realized she couldn’t be saved.
And so, she accepted death.
The warmth remaining in her hand faded.
A small hand, hardened with calluses from turning pages every day.
“Shishiroka.”
Even when I called her name, she didn’t rise again.
The one I couldn’t save, even with resurrection magic, was gone.
“…Fuck.”
For some reason, a curse slipped out.
I had long known that resurrection magic wasn’t omnipotent.
I knew that better than anyone. Because I had used it myself.
And yet, it seems I still believed, up until the very end, that I could save Shishiroka.
“…Fuck.”
I cursed again and pressed my hand against my face.
I was useless.
I hated this fucking useless version of myself.
The only reason I got close to Shishiroka was to build a stronger connection with Raphael.
Even as she lay dying, I thought if I did everything I could until the very end, Raphael would value me more.
I thought that.
I definitely thought that.
I’m sure I did.
So what if I could use resurrection magic? So what if I have talent in holy magic?
If I couldn’t even save one dying girl, what the hell was that supposed to mean?
No…
It was thanks to resurrection magic that I even made it this far.
It was just one otherworlder who died.
It’s nothing.
Nothing at all.
As planned, Raphael would probably look after me more from now on.
No need to waste more time. It’s a good outcome.
Stay positive.
It’s for the best.
“Shishiroka.”
But still, here I was, calling her name, praying she would open her eyes.
I fucking hate this otherworld so much.
I hate it to the point of madness.
Clench—
That’s why I refuse to live so weakly that I could accept this kind of injustice.
I raised my hand and gently held a strand of Shishiroka’s hair.
At my current level, resurrecting someone from a single strand of hair would require far too much mana.
But either way, I couldn’t bring her back right now.
So I’ll find a way someday to remove the seed of Banna that’s devouring her.
I’ll surpass Raphael and become a holy mage of the highest order and I’ll find the answer.
The day I can cure the seed of Banna and extend her life,
I’ll keep the promise I made to her today.
“Just sleep for a while.”
Rain trickled down my cheek.
But today’s weather was clear.
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