“The ‘Like clothes getting soaked in a drizzle’ operation is scrapped. I guess simply showing him the behavior of others isn’t enough. It’d be nice if something could happen that would trigger a more dramatic reaction…”
The drizzle operation which was meant to spark Pollo’s interest in romance ended in failure.
Pollo misunderstood the situation. He started thinking that I was trying to push him away because I wanted to date someone and ended up feeling hurt.
Thankfully, I was able to calm him down and explain things, but the thought that the heroines who even gave me money wouldn’t let this failure slide sent a chill down my spine.
It’s fine. It’s still fine. If I can quickly come up with the next operation, I can smooth over this first failure.
That concern continued to weigh on me all the way through the end of swordsmanship class, as I left the locker room and headed off to lunch.
Just as we were about to reach the cafeteria, I absentmindedly slipped a hand into my pocket and was struck by a sense of emptiness that gave me a bad feeling.
I snapped to attention and searched every pocket I had, but my wallet was nowhere to be found.
“Ah, Pollo. I think I left my wallet behind. Mind going ahead and waiting for me?”
“I’m fine. Let’s go together.”
“It’s okay. I’d feel bad making you retrace your steps. I’ll just grab my wallet and head over. Go ahead and order for me too. I’ll pay you back later.”
“Alright~”
With that, I turned back and headed toward the men’s locker room used for swordsmanship classes.
Since each of us had our own assigned locker, and I figured no one would bother rummaging through the locker of a lowly baron like me, I walked in without much concern—
Rustle, rustle.
But as I stepped into the locker room, what I saw was someone rummaging through a locker.
A girl?
This person had hair far too long to be considered a man, and none of the female students in our swordsmanship class had hair that long either. So I immediately concluded that she must be some kind of pervert.
…But why does she look so familiar?
To someone like me, who had no ties to any girl, the back of her head looked strangely familiar.
Just in case, I slowed my steps and quietly approached the pervert who was rummaging through a locker, then whispered softly into her ear.
“…Lady Selene?”
“Hyiiiaaaack!!”
***
Selene had always been called cute.
It wasn’t just the doting praise of her parents. By the time she could tell people apart, everyone around her unanimously praised her looks.
Because of that, Selene came to understand that she was, in fact, a cute girl.
When she began to learn how to read, she realized that in every fairy tale, the beautiful princess always ended up marrying a handsome prince.
I’m the prettiest girl in the whole world! So I have to marry the most handsome man!
From then on, appearance became the most important standard for choosing her future partner.
Though her ideal type changed and evolved a few times as she grew up, the requirement of good looks remained constant and unshaken.
Of course, Selene who was a noble lady and widely known for her beauty had received countless proposals from young noblemen, but none of them were good enough to satisfy her standards, so she turned them all down.
Eventually, she came of age to enroll in the academy.
With her older sister already confirmed to be the next family head, Selene entered the academy to pursue a path in magic, where she unexpectedly had a fateful encounter.
What is that?! Is that even a real person?!♡
Just like people often say about love at first sight, the princess had instantly fallen for Pollo’s unrealistically handsome face.
But that happy feeling didn’t last long. Pollo showed absolutely no interest in her.
She tried to drop subtle hints during introductions, and even when they attended the same lectures, she made subtle attempts to flirt with him, but he didn’t spare her a single glance.
Unlike the other students who fawned over her status, wealth, and beauty with shameless flattery, Pollo was completely different. And for the first time in her life, Selene felt a kind of frustration she had never experienced before.
How could he not even look at me after everything I’ve done? Is he gay?! Or maybe… impotent?!
She was so crushed by self-doubt that she even started to suspect such things.
Part of her wanted to just use her title as a noble and order him to date her, but her pride wouldn’t allow it. Not as a noble, and not as herself.
Come to think of it, he always had that useless guy hanging around him, didn’t he?
Then she realized that, unlike Pollo, the man who was always by his side was as plain-looking and average as could be, both in appearance and aura. Selene immediately wrote him a letter and ordered him to help her get closer to Pollo.
But when she found out that even the imperial princess and the saintess were aiming for the same man, Selene felt a fire light under her feet.
The fear that, if those two who had more power than her and were just as beautiful in their own unique ways seriously went after Pollo, she might not be the one he chose.
And that fear became the very starting point of the noble, dignified princess’s belief in absurd and nonsensical superstitions.
***
“Hyiiiaaaack!!”
Oh. That was quite an impressive scream.
If this were the modern world, that scream alone might’ve inspired a number of hit songs.
“Wh-When did you even get here?! At least make some noise when you walk around! You scared me to death!”
“Was it really that bad?”
I had crept up quietly to startle her, but I didn’t think she’d actually jump like she saw a ghost.
As far as I remembered, our young lady was quite a skilled mage. Just how focused had she been that she hadn’t even noticed my mana while I was sneak up on her?
“But actually, I should be the one asking the questions here. What brings a noble lady like yourself to the men’s changing room?”
“Th-That’s…”
Her eyes started to waver as she looked at me. Maybe she did know that what she was doing wouldn’t exactly look good if word got out.
If she was here personally, it had to be something related to Pollo…
“Are you trying to take something of Pollo’s stuff by any chance?”
“….…!”
Bingo.
The moment I said it, her face turned beet red. So red it looked like steam might start whistling out of her head any second now.
I heard of crazy fans sneaking into their favorite idol’s house to secretly collect their stuff, but I never imagined there’d be people like that even in another world. And a noble lady, no less.
“Young lady, this is a crime. You’re lucky I’m the one who caught you. What would you have done if someone else had seen you?”
“Ugh…!”
“You should’ve just had someone steal it for you. Someone of your status probably has people to spare for that sort of thing.”
“How could I ask someone to do something so embarrassing?! And besides, something like this only has meaning if you do it yourself for the person you like!”
“Stealing someone’s stuff is a crime, meaningful or not.”
What a strange place to draw the line. She was a stubborn one.
I’d thought this before, but our lady was definitely different from the other nobles. She was fun to watch and even more fun to tease.
“Anyway, let’s get out of here. It’s lunchtime, but that doesn’t mean no one’s going to come in—”
“Ugh, it’s all wet.”
“!!”
“!!”
A sudden, unfamiliar man’s voice echoed from the entrance.
Without a moment to think, I pulled the young lady into my arms and slipped us both into my nearby cabinet.
The cabinet, shaped like the letter “I” had just enough space that if the two of us were pressed together, it was cramped but still manageable.
Fortunately, the young lady had a small, slender frame, so we managed to squeeze in without much trouble.
“Y-You, what are you—mmph!”
“Shh—”
Startled by the sudden situation, she tried to voice her protest, but I quickly covered her mouth.
Realizing how serious the situation was, she eventually chose to stay quiet….though she wore a deeply displeased expression on her face.
“Of all places, why’d it have to spill there… This feels disgusting,”
Judging by the man’s words, it sounded like he’d gotten something on his clothes during lunch and had rushed in to change.
For a moment, we heard the sound of fabric brushing against skin, and then the sound of footsteps gradually faded away.
When we no longer heard anything else, the young lady and I stepped out of the cabinet.
“That was close. Are you all right?”
“You… you…!”
But her face looked as if she’d just gone through something unspeakable. Her eyes welled up with tears and she seemed absolutely furious.
“Why do you keep taking all of my firsts?!”
“…Huh?”
I took this girl’s firsts? What kind of nonsense was that?
“When I first entered the academy, you took my first seat next to Pollo!! Then you stole my first café date! And now this situation where you get crammed in a cabinet with a guy! You took that too!”
“What are you even—”
Pollo had only sat next to me because he didn’t know anyone else yet, and the café….she was the one who invited me there. As for this situation, I’d just barely managed to stop her from getting caught and getting into trouble.
I was left speechless by the noble lady’s bold sense of victimization.
“And why did you get in the cabinet too?! You could’ve just shoved me in alone!”
“Oh. That was an option, huh.”
Back then, I’d been in such a rush that I ended up climbing in with her.
Why, though? Was it because being around this perverted girl made me worried I’d be seen as an accomplice?
“You’ve got the nerve to act cocky when you’re ugly!”
“Excuse me. I’m not ugly. I’m just plain-looking, thank you very much.”
I already felt sensitive about my appearance, so I couldn’t help but snap at her after that jab about how I looked.
“And for the record, I really don’t want to hear that kind of insult from a perverted girl who sneaks into the men’s locker room and rifles through someone else’s cabinet.”
“P-Perverted girl?!”
“Well, what else would you call it? If that’s not perverted, then what is? What the heck were you even doing in here?”
“Th-That’s… because… I heard that if you tie together a strand of your hair with one from the person you like and carry it with you, you’ll become a couple…”
“…You caused all this chaos over some dumb superstition?”
There were plenty of girls who believed in strange relationship superstitions, but I hadn’t expected our noble lady here to be one of them.
“I mean, you could’ve just asked me. If you paid me a little, I could’ve easily gotten you a strand.”
“Y-Yeah, but I heard it only works if you do it yourself…”
“Haah… I just don’t get why someone like you, young lady, would need to go this far. You shine even when you’re just standing still.”
“If it were just me, it wouldn’t matter… but with the princess and the saintess in the mix… what if he doesn’t choose me…”
It seemed like her self-esteem had taken quite a hit.
Even if the noble lady was beautiful, with the princess and the saintess added to the equation, it was true that it’d be hard to say who stood out the most.
She was usually so solid and confident, so seeing her like this felt like quite a contrast.
A part of me felt sorry, seeing this timid side of her that she’d been hiding all along.
“The princess and the saintess are indeed stunning, but so are you. Just like it’s impossible to compare the beauty of roses, lilies, and magnolias, the three of you each have your own charm. It’s not that you’re lacking. You’re just different. And Pollo is someone who looks beyond appearances to what’s inside. Instead of relying on this kind of superstition, why not focus on your own strengths? Because the young lady’s confidence and grace are incredibly charming. I’m sure Pollo would feel the same.”
“…Really?”
“Yes. Really. As someone who’s been Pollo’s friend for ten years, I guarantee it.”
Maybe my words gave her some comfort since her expression looked noticeably more at ease.
“Okay.”
“I can’t openly take sides, but I’ll do my best to help you become Pollo’s partner, so don’t worry too much.”
Nod
After checking to make sure no one was walking by outside the locker room, I quickly sent the noble lady back.
***
It looked like she had something else she wanted to say to me, but after glancing at my face, she ended up scurrying off without saying anything.
I made an excuse that I was late because I had to take someone who had a sprained ankle to the infirmary, but I still felt bad for keeping Pollo waiting all this time, so I decided to treat him to lunch.
“Haah……”
“What’s wrong, Mars? Is it because of the club thing?”
“No, it’s not that. …Wait, what did you just say?”
“Hmm? I asked if it’s because of the club—”
“Pollo, are you already in a club or something?”
“No? I was planning to join one if you decided to.”
“Pollo, you… let’s just join one club together.”
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