As expected, we couldn’t control Alice.
“Oh my gosh! Look at that! There’s a huge, beautiful mushroom! How many people do you think could eat off that?”
“Well, I don’t know how many could eat it, but judging by the color, whoever does will probably end up dead.”
“Hmm, we won’t know for sure until we try. Should I give it a taste?”
I grabbed Alice by the nape of her neck as she lunged for the massive, gaudy mushroom.
“You’re completely reckless. Are you that eager to die?”
“Aww, I was just joking. I only meant to check if there was something on top of the mushroom.”
“Huh?”
It was then I noticed a figure sitting atop the mushroom.
“Phew… What’s going on here?”
A hazy mist clung to the top of the mushroom, so I couldn’t see the figure clearly.
But if this really was Wonderland, it was obvious who it would be.
“It’s nothing. Sorry to interrupt your time.”
“Alright…”
It had to be the Caterpillar.
I vaguely remember he played a significant role in the story.
But for now, we had no need of his help.
Alice hadn’t grown or shrunk or anything.
Besides, things weren’t going exactly like the original story.
Ariel had already been caught by Alice early on, after all.
It could end up being a waste of time.
“Aren’t you curious? What if the guy in the mist looked like that crazy rabbit from before?”
“That’s possible.”
“I can’t just leave it. I’m going to take a look.”
“He looks like a caterpillar.”
“Then never mind.”
“Alright.”
Seems like she hated bugs.
Thanks to that, one thing became clear.
Just like Ariel and me, Alice couldn’t be considered the same as the original Alice.
Which meant we couldn’t simply rely on her actions.
“Ariel, is now a good time? I want to talk about our plans going forward…”
Instead of following Alice, we had to lead her.
Just as I was about to discuss that with Ariel—
“Ariel?”
It was only then that I noticed Ariel awkwardly hanging back, a good distance behind us.
“Is something wrong?”
“Um, Johan? I should’ve said this earlier, but… my clothes are a bit…”
“Oh.”
Now that she mentioned it, it really was something we should’ve realized sooner.
Come to think of it, both Ariel and I were wearing different clothes from our usual ones.
I was dressed in something that looked like a tuxedo with a hat, no less, just like the Mad Hatter.
But Ariel…
“This skirt is way too…”
A tight skirt and a single blouse….that was all.
Just like the original White Rabbit wore a suit, Ariel now looked like some sort of office worker.
Considering she usually wore a witch’s hat and kept herself bundled up, this must’ve been rather uncomfortable for her.
“I should’ve been more considerate. Please, take this.”
“Thank you, Johan.”
I took off the coat I was wearing and wrapped it around Ariel’s waist.
This should be at least a little better than before.
“What are you two doing?”
Right then, Alice suddenly popped her head in between us.
She added with a grin that could only mean trouble,
“So you really are engaged! You two are seriously all lovey-dovey, huh? I’m sooo jealous!”
“Quiet down. Enough of that. Let’s keep moving. You still need to get home.”
“Okaaay~”
Ugh. Just look at that face.
She really looked like the type who never listened.
With this uncooperative little brat Alice in tow, we continued down the path.
If anything deserved to be called “Wonderland”, this was it.
The road was packed with all kinds of bizarre objects, and strange characters could be seen living in the area.
The strangest among them…
“P-Please! Help! H-Help me! Somebody help! Gyaaaah!”
…were animals that calmly walked into a pond by themselves, only to start screaming for help after they were already halfway submerged.
We ignored most of the strange characters we passed, but we couldn’t just overlook someone begging for help—
Alice immediately dashed off.
She began pulling the animals out of the pond, one by one.
“I could’ve just used magic to pull them all out at once…”
“She’s the type whose body moves before her head catches up.”
“Yeah, she does seem like that.”
After a while, Alice, having rescued all the animals, waved at us with a look of satisfaction as if she’d accomplished something big.
Watching her, we simply crossed the pond with a single teleportation spell.
Life really is easier with a capable mage like Ariel around.
“Th-Thank you for saving me. I-I’m a do-do-dodo bird.”
“Hi, Dodo! Are you cold? Why are you stuttering so much? Hmm, maybe we should dry you off first?”
“Th-Then let’s do a C-Caucus race! I-I’ll explain how it works!”
Hmm, that sounds familiar.
This must be another scene from the original story.
“Oh, there’s actually an easier way. I’ll help you out.”
Thankfully, we didn’t have to deal with any of that hassle.
With a flick of Ariel’s magic, everyone was dry and fluffy in an instant.
Maybe it was because things didn’t go according to the usual script?
The Dodo, who had seemed about to explain something, scrunched up his face awkwardly.
“A-Anyway, th-thank you for h-helping me. H-Here, take this.”
In the end, we really did help them. The Dodo gave a deep bow and started off again with the other animals.
And then immediately fell back into the pond and started thrashing wildly.
“P-Please! Somebody, help!”
“……”
“Should we just go?”
“Yeah.”
Even Alice, who’d initially jumped into action to help them, seemed to decide they weren’t worth the effort this time.
Our journey picked up pace from there.
“By the way, where exactly are we going?”
“Bit late to be asking that, isn’t it?”
“Well, things have been chaotic.”
“Not because you keep getting distracted?”
“What can I say? I’ve got my hands full taking care of two lunatics.”
“You little—”
Why does she always say the exact thing that makes me want to smack her?
“So where are we going?”
“Wherever the Queen of Hearts is.”
“And where would that be?”
“That’s what we’re going to find out now.”
“……”
“You see? I’m not crazy.”
“No, I didn’t think you were crazy. Just… kind of pathetic.”
“You never let anything slide, do you?”
Seriously… should I just smack her once?
Well, if she gets upset over that and it ruins our relationship, that’s a problem in its own right.
Kids were naturally moody and emotionally unpredictable.
I’ll have to be careful.
“Oh! I think I know where we should go! When I was up in the tree earlier, I saw a huge castle!”
“Knew you’d come through, Yuna. So thorough—”
Right in the middle of speaking naturally, I noticed something strange.
“…Yuna?”
“Mhmm! It’s me.”
I looked toward the voice and saw Yuna sitting on a tree branch. She had always been quick and elusive, but she still managed to catch me off guard.
“But you…”
It seemed Yuna too had taken on a role like the rest of us. Cat ears were poking out from the top of her head.
Was she supposed to be the Cheshire Cat?
Yuna was also wearing different clothes than usual, just like me and Ariel.
But…
“Johan, close your eyes.”
A short top that exposed her stomach and tight, short shorts.
Unlike usual, the outfit really showed off her figure. Ariel was clearly shocked and reached out toward my eyes.
Thinking she might actually jab me, I obediently let her cover them.
Not that it mattered. I’d already seen everything.
“Aww, are you just jealous? I guess I do have that mature charm the young lady doesn’t.”
I hadn’t realized it before, but she kind of did.
It felt like I was seeing a side of her I’d missed because I was too used to her usual self.
“Enough. Just put this on!”
“Oh, is this Johan’s coat? You’re giving it to me? I’ll gladly accept.”
“I’m lending it to you. You have to give it back later.”
“Sure, sure. I’ll use it and return it.”
Apparently, Ariel had decided on my behalf to lend Yuna my coat.
Though really, shouldn’t she have asked me first?
Whatever.
They’ll figure it out between themselves. It’s not even really my coat…
“Ah, sorry, Johan. I’ll let you go now.”
Once Ariel finally took her hand off my eyes,
I saw Yuna now wearing my coat.
And since it was a man’s size, the effect was… odd.
To be blunt, it looked like she was wearing nothing but the coat.
“So? This castle you saw….where was it exactly?”
Still, commenting on that would only give her more ammunition to tease me.
I played it cool and went straight to the point.
Yuna looked like she was suppressing a smug grin, but she answered without complaint.
“Over that way.”
“Alright, thanks. Let’s go.”
“Okay!”
Good. That felt natural.
“Before that, shouldn’t we check something first, Johan?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
But Ariel cut in.
Since she’d lent her coat to Yuna, Ariel was now awkwardly fidgeting just like earlier.
“Why are you even here? We were all together when something happened and got pulled into this mess. But you weren’t with us, were you?”
“Eh, don’t sweat the small stuff. I’m not really sure myself. Or are you Lady Ariel totally clear on how all this happened to you?”
“Well, no… but it’s still weird that you’re the only one who got dragged in.”
“Now that you mention it, yeah.”
Why is she here?
If others had been caught up in this too, the people at the mansion would be here as well, but I haven’t seen a single one of them.
The more I think about it, the more it seems like she was secretly watching us while we were walking around the garden.
“You really gonna keep going with the small talk? Because I can do small talk too. Hey, Johan, how do I look right now?”
“Nope. Enough. Let’s just go.”
“Johan?”
Ariel stared at me with a blank expression.
Okay, yeah. We don’t really have time for this.
And besides, she’s not exactly wrong, is she?
It’s not me who’s strange. The situation is.
“Puhihihi.”
Yuna giggled, fanning the flames as she glanced at Ariel.
I’m not getting involved. This is between them.
“Hey. Crazy big brother.”
“Could you drop the ‘crazy’ part, Alice?”
“Crazy big brother, you must be pretty popular with that face, huh?”
“You’re really crossing the line now.”
You think I won’t hit you?
I smacked her right away.
“Ow! Anyway, hear me out. This is a serious concern of mine!”
And yet she wasn’t the least bit fazed.
In a way, it was kind of impressive for a little kid.
“See, my boyfriend kinda looks like you. He’s sort of average, like in-between.”
“That’s just rude.”
“But I really love my boyfriend, you know?”
“And?”
“I’m worried he might turn into a player like you big brother.”
“……”
I was about to smack Alice on the head but ended up just patting her instead.
“I’m being serious here. That kind of thing isn’t up to you or the people around you. It just… happens with the flow.”
“Not helpful at all. And take your hand off me. I’m a taken woman.”
“Yeah, yeah. You little brat.”
She wasn’t just feisty, she was fiery.
I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d always been like this… It was a surprisingly deep question that gave me a lot to think about.
***
With our new party member, the Cheshire Cat Yuna, we continued our journey.
Somehow, it felt like we’d end up facing a Demon King in the final chapter.
Or maybe something close enough.
Was it a fairy tale? A movie? Anyway, I remembered something about fighting the Queen of Hearts.
If we won, maybe we’d be able to return to our original world.
Just like that, we crossed mountains and rivers until the royal castle came into view.
“Get them!”
“Don’t let them escape! If we lose them, the Queen will have our heads for sure!”
We could tell something chaotic was going on.
Trump cards with arms and legs were running around everywhere.
Trump soldiers, no doubt.
It seemed we were in the right place.
But still…
“What do you think is happening?”
While we hid in the bushes and observed the situation, Ariel whispered into my right ear.
“Should I go take a quick look?”
Not to be outdone, Yuna started whispering into my other ear.
We were hiding to avoid being spotted, but this was getting a little too much.
“Hmm, for now, let’s just watch and see how things unfold.”
And so we lay in wait, quietly watching from the bushes for a while.
Fzzzzzzzzzzzzt!!
Soon after, a huge explosion erupted from inside the castle, and Trump soldiers came pouring out.
And then, from the heart of that explosion, a person strode out confidently, surrounded by red lightning.
“Phew… Honestly, all this fuss just because I asked for directions.”
Lobelia Vicious von Miltonia.
It seemed she had gotten caught up in this mess just like we had.
Wait a minute….was every single one of these people sneakily spying on my date with Ariel?
“Your Highness?”
“Hmm? Ariel, is that you?”
The moment Ariel recognized her, she leapt out of the bushes and called out.
“That’s quite the outfit you’ve got on. Well, I guess I’m one to talk.”
“Your Highness, don’t tell me… are you playing the role of the Queen here?!”
“I’m not sure what you mean by ‘role’, but I doubt it. The moment I stepped into the castle, they attacked me without warning.”
Something felt off.
Lobelia appeared to be a character in this world just like us. But something about her was different.
“So, what do you mean by ‘role’?”
“Ah! Well, apparently we’ve fallen into a fairy tale world. And we’re playing the roles of characters in that story.”
“An interesting theory. Then what’s my role? Everywhere I go, I’m treated like an outsider.”
“Well…”
The red dress with chess piece patterns here and there looked elegant and beautiful at first glance.
It wouldn’t be strange for someone to mistake her for a queen.
But she wasn’t the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland.
Rather, she was…
“…The Red Queen.”
She looked much more like the Red Queen who appears in the sequel.
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