It felt like I’d woken from a long dream.
My mind was hazy, and my body felt heavy.
It was as if I’d finally escaped the nightmare that had haunted me for so long.
Tears welled up as I made out the figure before me through my blurred vision.
Whether it was Yuna or Ariel, the person I loved was standing right in front of me.
“……”
I wrapped my arms around her.
I told myself it was time to leave the past behind and move toward the future.
Then she spoke.
“Welcome to hell, Johan Damus.”
“What?!”
The voice snapped me fully awake.
I’d thought it was Yuna or Ariel, but the moment I heard it, I realized it was Mephi.
Damn it. Did she really change that much after evolving? Back when she created her avatar, she’d modeled it after Yuna and Ariel, but now she actually felt uncannily similar to them.
“You disgusting guy. Let go.”
“Wh-Why are you here?”
“You’re asking that now? Someone might think I’m usually hard to find.”
She wasn’t wrong.
If anything, wasn’t Mephi around almost as much as Yuna?
Well, I did have an excuse.
Mephi looked completely different from before.
This was the first time I’d seen her in this new form, so it wasn’t that strange for me to be surprised.
“More importantly, what kind of greeting is ‘Welcome to hell’ for someone who just woke up? Seriously, your attitude sucks.”
“Then judge for yourself.”
With that, Mephi turned her head to the side, her half-closed eyes looking utterly unconcerned. Following her gaze, I finally understood.
“…Yeah. This really is hell.”
“The hell you brought upon yourself.”
Yuna and Ariel were watching me with icy expressions.
I’d woken up and immediately hugged another woman.
Just as Mephi said, this was a hell of my own making.
“Yuna, Ariel, this is all a misunderstanding. I was still out of it and mistook her for one of you. Get away from me, you creepy little gremlin.”
“Anyone listening would think I was the one who hugged you. You ungrateful brat.”
Anyway, this is your fault.
And I’m a little busy trying not to die here, so stop making things worse.
“Well, I’ll let it slide. We already knew that demon used us as her models. Honestly, it was the obvious choice. Very demon-like of her. Cunning and intelligent.”
“Indeed.”
Yuna managed to flatter herself and Ariel while claiming to be understanding.
The more I thought about it, the more I felt like Yuna was the truly devious one.
Meanwhile, Mephi was grinning away, completely oblivious to the fact that she was the one being manipulated.
“I’ll overlook it as well.”
Ariel stepped forward with an intentionally dignified expression.
Was she pleased that Mephi had modeled herself after her too?
“So… which one of us did you think you were hugging?”
And there it was.
The Archmage’s merciless follow-up attack.
Honestly, I wasn’t even surprised anymore.
Nothing I ever did came easily.
In the past, I might have thought I could somehow talk my way out of it.
But I knew better now.
The moment you let your guard down was when you were in the most danger.
So… what was the best possible answer here?
“…I’m the bad guy. Just go ahead and yell at me.”
Not an excuse.
An apology.
I knew there was no point trying to explain myself. Nothing I said would fool these two.
Better to accept my punishment now than drag out the suffering.
***
The moment I got out of bed, one thing after another kept happening.
At least there was one silver lining.
I was still a patient.
Thanks to that, nobody actually hit me.
Though mentally, I was being put through the wringer…
“Still, this is rather remarkable. Even with me forcibly stretching out time to hold it together, those injuries should have taken at least twenty years to heal. The power that wounded you was that vicious… that destructive.”
“And?”
“At this rate, about three years. By then, you’ll have recovered enough to live a normal life.”
“So under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have even been able to move?”
“Correct.”
“You little…”
Was it really that serious?
So this bastard really had the nerve to talk as if he could fix everything.
A demon really is a demon.
“By the way, would it kill you to stay flattened for a while?”
“I shall flatten myself as a demonstration.”
“Aaaaaaaagh!!”
I’d shoved Mephi a good distance away because I was sick of her trailing after me like a puppy.
The instant I did, an unbearable pain exploded from the center of my chest.
“Well?”
“I… was wrong.”
“Good. Remember that, Johan Damus.”
After everything Mephi had said and after what happened in that dream, I thought I’d be fine.
In the dream, I’d finally understood and accepted the concept of the End. The moment I stopped believing that every ending had to be tragic, I gained some measure of resistance against Lævateinn’s power.
So I thought I was in the clear.
Mephi had even said I was much better.
“I was starting to think Lævateinn and I had actually made peace.”
“What an impressively idiotic thing to say. Did you hit your head too?”
“Seriously, what’s with that attitude?”
Do you really have to be such an ass every time you open your mouth?
“Says the last person who should be talking!”
“I’m a perfectly polite individual.”
“Lunatic.”
This brat’s head got bigger, and apparently so did her vocabulary of insults.
Was this puberty?
Or had she just decided to throw her weight around now that she thought she was the stronger one?
“You have no idea how much humiliation I suffered while you were unconscious. There were times I genuinely wanted to take your soul and run.”
“…Please don’t.”
“Don’t? That’s awfully informal.”
What a cowardly little…
“Please don’t do that.”
Still, I was the type who knew how to compromise.
Pride doesn’t put food on the table.
What’s the big deal about swallowing my pride once or twice?
Even if it wears me down a little, so what? Better a bruised ego than a dead body.
“Hearing you use honorifics is unpleasant. Don’t bother.”
“……”
Seriously, what am I supposed to do with this little shit?
To make matters worse, our contract was already complete, so there wasn’t much I could do against her.
And she’d genuinely become stronger.
I wasn’t even sure there was anyone left who could stop the current Mephi.
“Mwahahaha! I am mighty!”
“……”
Ugh, she was annoying.
Whatever. I couldn’t do anything about it for now.
She’d probably get bored of this soon enough.
For the moment, I’d deal with the problem right in front of me.
“The reconstruction’s moving quickly.”
I was walking around the Imperial Palace as it underwent reconstruction.
You’d think someone would stop me, but the fact that no one did probably meant Lobellia had already given everyone a heads-up.
Come to think of it, I’d forgotten to ask earlier.
But looking at everything now, I couldn’t not ask.
“How long was I unconscious?”
I’d thought it had only been a little while…
For one thing, I’d woken up in a hospital room instead of on top of the burning ruins.
Maybe more time had passed than I’d realized.
“Two months.”
“…That’s longer than I expected.”
No wonder my arms and legs still felt so weak.
“So what’s everyone else doing?”
“How would I know? What do you think would have happened if I’d left your side for even a moment? Even if I’d wanted to, everyone around me would’ve rushed in with murder in their eyes.”
“You really haven’t changed.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
It just means… you’re still you.
No point explaining it. You’d only end up getting your feelings hurt.
“Guess it’ll be hard tracking people down like this.”
“You could’ve asked those two before you came out.”
“You expect me to tell my fiancées I’m going off to see another woman?”
“They would’ve known even if you hadn’t said anything. That’s why they let you leave looking like that. Otherwise, do you really think they would’ve let someone who can barely walk wander off alone?”
“……”
“You were simply too afraid. Foolish man.”
“Why do you have to be right? It’s irritating.”
“Because you’re a twisted person. People like that always hate hearing the truth.”
“Listen to the great demon lecturing me about honesty.”
“Take that back!”
Mephi bared her teeth and growled at me.
Unfortunately for her, even after evolving, she still wasn’t particularly intimidating.
If anything, the unsettling part was how much she resembled Yuna and Ariel.
Thankfully, her personality was the complete opposite.
Still, whenever she kept her mouth shut, something about looking at her left me deeply uncomfortable.
“Enough. Stay out of my sight. I’ve got something important to do, so keep your mouth shut too.”
“Hmph.”
Mephi snorted and melted into my shadow.
That felt… weird.
Like she was illegally squatting inside it.
It was like having my privacy invaded.
Though, come to think of it, it wasn’t like I’d had any privacy to begin with…
I shook my head, clearing away the thought.
There were plenty of things I wanted to know, but this came first.
“Hi, Alice.”
I called out to Alice who was sitting atop a pile of rubble.
Thankfully, she’d chosen a nice high spot that made her easy to find.
“……”
She spotted me, then immediately turned her head away and ignored me.
Still as cold as ever.
Even after working so hard with me at the very end.
“What are you doing?”
“…Watching the Imperial Palace being rebuilt.”
“Having fun?”
“I don’t know if I’d call it fun… but it’s not bad. I never imagined I’d live to see this with my own eyes.”
“Are you satisfied?”
“Not particularly… It’s just… what it is.”
“After everything I went through to save you.”
“I know. Thinking you struggled that desperately just to show me something like this… it’s a little anticlimactic.”
“Really? That’s good to hear.”
“……”
Whether she was satisfied or not, the fact that she could feel anything at all made it all worthwhile to me.
“I saw Alice in my dream.”
“……”
At those words, Alice drew in a breath before finally looking at me.
She must have understood exactly what I meant.
“That must have been nice.”
“Not really. She spent the whole time criticizing and complaining the moment we met.”
“Even so, it must have been better than meeting a fake like me.”
“I don’t know.”
“As you know, I’m not the real Alice.”
The Alice before me and the Alice from before.
The two were undeniably different. Even if they shared the same memories, they’d chosen different paths at the crossroads.
“I was nothing more than a blank canvas, and someone simply painted a picture called Alice onto it. No matter how many times you read someone else’s life like a book, it never becomes your own.”
“That’s true.”
It was like how experiencing someone else’s life through a game could never mean truly understanding them.
Living through something yourself and merely reading about it were two very different things.
“Do you have any regrets? You spent your entire life saving a fake like me, and now you’re left with a scar that will stay with you forever.”
“They said it’ll heal in three years.”
“What about the wound to your soul? What about the soul bound by your contract with a demon? Those wounds can never heal.”
“I could’ve healed them if I’d wanted to. I just chose not to.”
“That’s sophistry. Your life was on the line with that choice.”
“Even if it hadn’t been, I still wouldn’t have done anything differently.”
“Why are you so foolish?”
“You’re only realizing that now? I’ve never been a wise man.”
“You…!”
Alice cried out in frustration.
Was it guilt she was feeling? What a foolish thing.
This had been my decision. I’d forced it through on my own and saved her against her will.
There was no reason for her to feel guilty about any of it.
“Hah… Fine. It’s not like you were ever the type to listen to me in the first place.”
“You know me well.”
“……And I know you’re the kind of insufferable person who gets under people’s skin like this.”
“I’m popular, you know.”
Do you have any idea how many beautiful women are always chasing after me?
“Johan.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.”
“That came out of nowhere. And instead of apologizing, you should be thanking me. Do I really have to spell it out for you?”
“You’re the kind of person who makes any feeling of gratitude disappear the moment you open your mouth.”
“Hey.”
Alice ended her words with a bright smile.
It was the first time in a long while she’d smiled like herself again. A smile as warm and radiant as a sunflower.
***
Being alive still felt surreal.
She couldn’t quite believe it. During the months since Johan had saved her, Alice had continued to drift through life.
There had been so many things she’d wanted to do.
Too many to ever finish.
And yet, even after being given all this extra time, she hadn’t done a single one of them. She’d simply sat in a daze, watching the place where she was supposed to have died.
That had become her daily life.
Then, today, Johan came to see her.
Only then did Alice finally understand the reason for the emptiness inside her.
There was still something she had left unfinished.
“Johan.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.”
“That came out of nowhere. And instead of apologizing, you should be thanking me. Do I really have to spell it out for you?”
“You’re the kind of person who makes any feeling of gratitude disappear the moment you open your mouth.”
“Hey.”
At last, she managed to smile.
Then she pulled a small notebook from inside her coat and opened it.
#Apologize to Johan
She hadn’t thought she’d be able to do it.
She’d thought it was impossible.
She’d believed it was something she never should do.
But today, here and now…
#Apologize to Johan
At long last, she was able to cross it off.
She had finally completed every item on the bucket list she’d written for herself.
She could have said she had no more regrets.
Instead, she began writing a new entry.
#Find happiness
It was the moment her own life began. Not a life lived for someone else, but one she would live for herself.
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