Chapter 178: Mask Part 5

I did my best to provoke her, but as expected, it wasn’t going to be easy.

First of all, she’d been bedridden for half a year, yet she still made it into Class A. I’m not sure if that means the other students have gotten weaker, or if she was always that capable…

What’s certain is that she’s not someone I can beat.

Her spear skills were no joke. More accurately, her style felt completely different from any spear techniques I’ve seen before.

It’s more like she’s wielding a staff than a spear. She uses it as a support or even plants it in the ground like a pole vault, making her movements hard to predict.

“Ugh.”

Maybe it’d be better to just let her kill me once, just to get it over with?

It’s not like dying here means I’ll actually die…

“Gah?!”

Just as I started thinking that out of annoyance, I instinctively dodged a spear aiming straight for my eyes.

The blade grazed my cheek.

“…Ugh. She’s seriously a pain.”

Pain shot through me.

It’s probably just an illusion, but the pain felt very real.

Considering this was supposed to be a test, some pain makes sense….but this realistic? That’s suspicious.

Did Monia mess with the setup?

“Using illusion magic like this? Not something I’d recommend.”

“Oh, don’t pretend to care now. It’s disgusting.”

It was clear that Monia had altered her parameters in this space using illusion magic.

Because of that, she could inflict vivid pain on others. But looking at it the other way, it also meant that she had no choice but to feel that same vivid pain herself.

Of course, manipulating Olga Hermod’s illusion magic was practically impossible. The only reason it had been possible at all was because, fundamentally, there had been an unspoken permission from Olga Hermod herself.

It must’ve been something she couldn’t avoid. This was an exam meant to observe the students’ growth; there was no way they could penalize only the students who specialized in illusion magic.

“The Headmistress’s not exactly fond of people exploiting the rules, you know. What’ll you do if you end up getting expelled for this?”

“I don’t care. I’m not interested in the Cradle anymore.”

“I don’t get it.”

Was that how much she hated me?

Did she come back to a place she didn’t even care about just to destroy me?

And just because I was weak? Because I was weak and yet survived?

What kind of insane logic was that?

“Why me, of all people?”

I wasn’t the only weak one in the Cradle. Sure, I couldn’t deny that I was among the weakest of the second-year students.

But if her logic was simply that I was weak yet survived, there were plenty of others like that.

If the argument was that I alone hadn’t been caught up in the terror attack, then maybe I could’ve understood it.

If she’d somehow realized that I knew the future… well, then maybe I could’ve accepted it.

After all, I had essentially refused to save people I could have saved.

It was just a matter of principle, just a speculation. But still, it was something someone could feel angry about.

But that wasn’t it either.

Monia didn’t know that I had escaped the terror attacks because I knew the future.

“Because you don’t know! Because you don’t know, I can’t forgive you!”

“You’re not making any sense…”

If I didn’t know, then I didn’t know. What, was I supposed to say I did even though I didn’t?

Sure, I’d been on the receiving end of all kinds of unfairness until now….but this kind of blind, inexplicable rage? This was a first.

“Did you know my sister liked you?”

I didn’t.

“Did you know she died trying to protect your research notes? Just to save a few sheets of paper?”

That, I didn’t know either.

No one had ever explained it to me.

How could I have known something like that when I wasn’t even there?

If I was at fault, it was for not trying to find out.

But even then, I wasn’t sure that was something worth calling a mistake.

Of course, I thought it was tragic.

“But even so, I still can’t accept this way of doing things.”

“I know. I know this is just one-sided anger. I know it’s not what my sister would’ve wanted, and that acting like this just tarnishes her sacrifice.”

“Well, I’m glad you at least know that.”

Knowing something in your head and accepting it in your heart were two different things.

Monia’s problem was simple.

She just needed someone to unleash her anger on, and I happened to be that person.

“That’s exactly why I can’t just let you do this, Monia.”

This was for her own good, too.

Grrk!

I heard her grinding her teeth.

Right now, no matter what I said, it wouldn’t get through to her.

How could I possibly understand her when I didn’t know just how deeply she cared for her sister?

***

To Monia, her sister Luda was no different from a parent.

Having lost their parents early in life to the war, the two of them had no choice but to rely on each other to survive.

They were only a year apart in age, but Luda took care of Monia like a true older sister.

After enduring so much hardship, the two of them finally enrolled in the Cradle.

Getting into the Cradle allowed them to escape the life they’d known until then.

Although there were still dangers like frequent terror attacks for example, they no longer had to worry about having a place to sleep or going hungry.

They received basic financial support, and with scholarships, they even had money left over.

The two decided to study alchemy for the sake of their future.

Fortunately, both of them were talented.

They believed that as long as they held on, a happy future awaited them.

And thanks to that growing sense of stability, Luda even fell in love with someone.

“What in the world do you see in that guy, big sister?”

Monia couldn’t understand it.

Johan wasn’t good-looking, he didn’t have a great personality, and he wasn’t particularly smart either.

No matter how she looked at him, he was average at best.

There was nothing about him that stood out.

If anything, he had more shortcomings than strengths.

“He works hard toward his goals.”

That was Luda’s assessment.

Monia still didn’t like Johan, but at least on that one point, she had to nod in agreement.

Johan had a clear reason for joining the alchemy workshop.

He said it was to develop a cure for his younger brother, Chris.

Even though he had no real talent, the way he fearlessly took on something long deemed impossible was, in its own way, commendable.

After that, as an upperclassman, Luda quietly looked out for Johan, helping him receive a number of benefits.

The person in question had no idea he was benefiting from anything or that someone was looking out for him…

But Luda seemed content with just that.

Monia still didn’t like it, but seeing Luda happy, all she could do was let out a sigh.

And then Luda died.

It happened after she confronted one of Lemegeton’s librarians who had infiltrated the workshop.

Luda had fought under brutal conditions, risking everything just to save a few documents from the raging flames.

She succeeded in defeating her opponent, but her wounds worsened, and she died.

As always, Johan arrived at the workshop too late. Without sparing a glance at anyone else, he searched only for his research materials.

Seeing him breathe a sigh of relief, completely unaware of whose sacrifice had protected them, filled Monia with rage.

“……”

At the time, Monia still had her reason. She knew right from wrong.

Johan didn’t know. So it couldn’t be helped. And Luda wouldn’t have wanted him to be blamed.

Monia buried all those festering emotions deep inside.

But emotional wounds, the more you suppress them, the more they rot from within.

Before long, Monia clung to Eden and eventually got involved deeply enough to make contact with its leadership.

Kult Hereticus, the head and prophet of Eden, welcomed her with open arms.

He didn’t even try to hide his pity as he spoke to her.

“You know it, don’t you? That the person you hate did nothing wrong. No one knows that better than you.”

“……”

“But human emotions are fickle things. That makes it easier said than done. Why do you think that is? Were you born inherently twisted?”

“…Is that what it is?”

“No, people are just made that way. Fickle, easily hurt, and just as easily capable of hurting others.”

The prophet extended his hand.

“Neither you nor the person you hate is at fault. The world was simply made this way.”

Monia took his hand.

“If it’s truly too hard to endure, how about taking a short rest? If you wait for a new world within a sweet dream, even the pain will disappear.”

That day, Monia fell into a dream.

In that dream, she was able to reunite with Luda. Just as they had once dreamed, the two of them ran a humble little pharmacy and lived a quiet, peaceful life.

And when she woke from that long and happy dream—

“Ha…”

She felt its futility.

And soon, the hollow emptiness was filled by a surge of emotion in equal measure.

***

It felt so cruel.

Why you?

Monia hurled her spear again and again at Johan, venting her fury.

Why are you the one who gets to know nothing?

She hated his indifference.

The way he shut himself off from others. It was intolerably disgusting.

Luda had died for Johan.

But the truth was, he didn’t even know who her sister was.

Luda had died for someone like that.

How could you erase her so easily?

It wasn’t as if they had no connection at all.

Luda had tried to get closer to him. She offered him snacks with a shy expression and tried to start conversations.

And yet he’d built up walls, ignored her, and tried to forget.

It would’ve been better if he’d just clearly drawn the line from the start.

Every time they talked, Johan always had that same expression. Like he didn’t even know who he was speaking to.

“We’re not some extras you can just ignore! We’re not!”

Her violently swinging spear never once aimed for a vital point.

It was Monia’s way of showing she had no intention of killing him easily.

Even if he died here, all it would do is wake him up in the real world. The pain of death would be fleeting….ultimately meaningless.

She wanted to leave behind real pain. She wanted to carve a wound so deep it would never fade.

That was her mistake.

“Urgh?!”

Deliberately avoiding the vitals. The physical strength that hadn’t fully returned since getting out of bed.

Even in a dream, the body she perceived was unchanged.

The only one who could erase the gap between body and mind was Archmage Olga Hermod.

“Ughhh!!”

Monia began to lose to Johan in a contest of sheer physical strength.

It was a gap that even the fierce mana imbued in her spear couldn’t quite make up for.

Johan had been weak. He should have been weak.

But Monia had a gap of over half a year. Her skills hadn’t declined, but her stamina had noticeably dropped.

And Johan, it seemed, hadn’t just been idling around all that time. He had grown stronger, too.

It felt unfair.

She trembled with rage at her own helplessness, unable to fully unleash even her wild unrestrained fury.

It felt like she was being forced to relive that day—

The day her sister Luda died and she had been powerless to do anything.

“I’m sorry.”

A voice of apology rang in her ears.

It was Johan. The same Johan who had said he had nothing to apologize to her for.

And at that exact moment—

“That part, I can’t deny. That was definitely my fault.”

Johan’s sword began to release its full aura.

***

None of Monia’s words really resonated with me.

What happened to her sister Luda was tragic, yes. But I didn’t think it was something to feel guilty about.

But her final words were different.

“We’re not just some extras you can ignore. We’re not!”

I couldn’t deny that.

Just knowing the future….maybe that had made me subconsciously rank people in my mind.

Avoiding the named characters, because they were dangerous.

Everyone else….I kept my distance, thinking of them as people who could die at any moment.

That was the dichotomy I lived by.

If it had been just a mindset I kept to myself, it wouldn’t have been a problem.

But the fact that it had shown through in my attitude clearly enough for others to notice—

“That part, I can’t deny. That was definitely my fault.”

—meant that I was part of the problem too.

But even so, that didn’t mean I could just let Monia win.

No, if anything, it meant I couldn’t back down here. Not now.

“So that’s why I can’t lose. Not even for your sake.”

“Guh?!”

Because I couldn’t pretend not to see someone clearly going down the wrong path.

This wasn’t for me. This was for Monia.

At that moment, a sharp aura began to form along the blade I held.

A pure, concentrated aura not powered by any magc engineering battery flared with a brilliant light and pushed Monia back.