Chapter 5: Couple

The U.S. Department of Defense had been using floppy disks to manage nuclear weapons since 1967.

And it was recently revealed that this practice had continued until not long ago.

When asked why such an outdated security method had been continuously used for something as dangerous as nuclear weapons,

They gave the following answer.

“Because it worked.”

“…Huh?”

“We had never gotten caught before. Today’s the first time.”

When asked why, despite there being better methods available, she insisted on transporting bombs in a way that resembled a suicide bombing,

Pyro Bomber’s answer was just as fiery and fitting as her name suggested.

“This is seriously the best way, you know? Look, even after getting caught, people still think I’m the victim.”

And indeed,

Just as she said, in this “attempted bus suicide bombing incident”, the public was perceiving Pyro Bomber as the victim.

“I can still use this method at least one more time.”

“Let’s just get to the bomb deal.”

Talking with Pyro Bomber made me feel like my common sense was being completely denied,

So I wanted nothing more than to stop talking to her, quickly buy what I needed, and leave…

[No.]

“…Why not?”

[You have to come to the location I told you about and make the deal there.]

What kind of ridiculous nonsense was this supposed to be?

“…Can’t we just be a little flexible here, get our business done, and go our separate ways?”

“……”

Damn it… It wasn’t like I could just forcefully snatch it away from them either.

“Haah… Fine, let’s go…”

I had already learned by now that arguing with these two sisters was absolutely pointless.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m calling a taxi. Don’t you have any other clothes?”

“Nope.”

“…I have a spare set of clothes. You should at least put this on.”

Wanting to hide our identities, we changed clothes in a roughly overgrown area.

“I can’t change clothes because I’ve got bombs strapped to me, you know?”

“Will it explode if you take that off?”

“No? It’ll only explode if I press the button I’m holding.”

“Please don’t press the button.”

Tap— Tap— Tap—

Applying a bit of force, I broke the locks that were holding the bombs in place.

“Is that good enough?”

“Wow, you’re really strong, aren’t you?”

“…Who are you calling strong?”

“Who else is here besides you?”

I allowed her to take off the bomb vest for a moment.

“Phew! I feel so much lighter now.”

“Just put this on over your clothes.”

After having her put on the spare clothes I’d brought,

I then roughly helped her strap the bomb vest back over it…

…Wait, hold on. Doesn’t this completely defeat the purpose of changing clothes?

Spending time with Pyro Bomber was starting to make me feel stupid too.

“I’ll call a taxi now.”

Since we had roughly finished our business in the alleyway,

We walked out to the street to call a taxi.

“Wow… Since when did the Association get this good at their job?”

We could see Hero Association staff and a few heroes searching the area near where we had run away.

“If we get in a taxi like this, we’ll probably get stopped at a checkpoint and get caught right away, don’t you think?”

“Looks like it. …This won’t do.”

“You got a good idea or something?”

“We’ll have to hide somewhere around here until the Association gives up.”

There happened to be a hotel just two blocks away, so I started walking there with Pyro Bomber.

“Did you want to spend the night with me at a hotel or something?”

“You know better than anyone that’s not what this is about, don’t you?”

“Nope, I have no idea.”

Ah… I couldn’t just ditch this woman either…

Haah… Should I just tell her I’m not buying the bombs and go back?

But then again, since the bombs were clearly verified, it’d be a waste to let go of a seller who wasn’t trying to scam me…

“Miss Hye-won.”

[Don’t go calling other people’s names without permission.]

“Hye-won’s just going through puberty, so you gotta understand.”

“Okay, Miss Whatever-your-name-is…”

[……..]

“Sounds good.”

“Since I’m spending this much money, you better give me a discount later, alright? I mean, I’m the buyer here, protecting your product in a situation like this, and I’m still trying to make the deal happen.”

[…Deal.]

“Done.”

“?”

[?]

“Isn’t that how this goes?”

In the end, since I had spent both time and money, we agreed on getting a discount.

And so, together with Pyro Bomber, I walked into what looked like an expensive hotel.

“Welcome, dear guests.”

“Do you have a room available for about three days?”

“That’ll be 360,000 won.”

…

…There’s no way this will be over in just a day or two…

I was looking out the window from the fifth floor of the hotel…

But even after several hours had passed, the Hero Association’s people hadn’t stopped searching the area.

“Wow… even Mobia showed up…”

To make matters worse, the hero Mobia had arrived here as part of the backup forces…

Feels like I’ve been seeing her way too often lately.

Sure, South Korea might be small, but still…

Considering that every time I’m involved in some incident, Hero Mobia always happens to show up…

I was starting to get this unsettling feeling, like even on the day I actually commit a terrorist act, Hero Mobia would somehow end up getting involved too.

“Are you scared?”

“…Of course I am.”

“You, who aren’t even scared of bombings, are scared of a hero?”

I wouldn’t care if it were any other hero.

No matter how overwhelmingly superior their powers might be compared to mine.

There was always some way to deal with them…

“For some reason, Mobia is the only one I just can’t handle.”

Mobia could control anything within her sight however she pleased.

And if it was her own body or an object she was in contact with, she could control it at will even if it was out of her line of sight.

Mobia’s ability…

It was an ability no other ability user could hope to counter.

“Aren’t you scared, Miss Pyro Bomber?”

“What’s there to be scared of? You just set off the bomb, and before the heroes arrive, you bolt. That’s it.”

“I thought the same at first. But then I had the experience of heroes showing up twice in less than five minutes.”

“Wow, and you still managed to get away?”

“It was a miracle.”

“So you’ve got some skills, huh?”

“I was just lucky.”

As we casually chatted like that, I happened to glance back.

“…What are you doing?”

“Villain stuff!”

There she was pulling wads of cash out of my duffel bag like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Without hesitation, I grabbed the hotel hairdryer cord and tied up both of Pyro Bomber’s hands, securing her to the bed.

“Ahh! Babe, I’m just kidding, it’s a joke!”

“What kind of joke is this?”

“I was just checking to see if there was something like a GPS tracker hidden in there, you know?”

Rustle…

“Oh my. How did that end up in my pocket?”

Rustle, rustle…

“Oh dear, maybe the bills were male. Looks like they really wanted to be inside my pants, huh?”

“…Miss Whatever-your-name-is. Your sister just got caught trying to steal 15 million won. What should I do about this?”

[She’s not my sister… I don’t know her… I’ve never seen her before…]

“Hye-won? How could you do this to me?”

[I’m so sorry… I’ll give you a 20% discount on the original price…]

“Hey! If you give 20% off, how are we supposed to make a living?”

Rustle rustle…

“20% sounds pretty fair to me!”

That day, a total of 25 million won in cash bundles came pouring out of Pyro Bomber’s pockets.

It had been almost two days since we’d been hiding out at the hotel, and we could see that the Hero Association people were starting to disappear one by one.

It seemed like they were finally beginning to withdraw, convinced we weren’t here after all…

“When is Mobia going to give up already?”

Unlike the others, Hero Mobia had been tirelessly patrolling the area for two days straight without taking a single break.

“Did you do something to Mobia or what?”

“……”

“Wait, did you really?”

“Please… don’t ask.”

“No way… don’t tell me the hero you managed to escape from twice was Mobia??”

“……”

“You are so bad at lying.”

“I’m not lying, okay??”

Lately, I hadn’t even lied about anything, yet it felt like I kept getting caught up in unfair situations.

Anyway.

“We should probably start getting ready to head out.”

“But Mobia hasn’t left yet.”

Having barely slept these past few days while guarding the cash even in my sleep, more than anything, I just wanted to pass out and get some real rest.

“Mobia won’t be able to find us on her own.”

“Wow~ Look at you totally underestimating Hero Mobia.”

All I wanted now was to buy the bombs as quickly as possible and hurry back to my secret base to finally get some sleep.

Now that most of the Association staff had cleared out, we decided to swiftly head to the location that Whatever-her-name-is had requested.

Of course, it wasn’t like I was actually underestimating Hero Mobia like she said.

“The time we escaped was two days ago, and Mobia doesn’t know our faces or what we were wearing. As long as the contents of the bag don’t get exposed, it’s fine.”

Explaining our escape with a reason that was valid in its own way.

I grabbed the money bag and headed straight out the door.

“We’re leaving now.”

Fortunately, there was a taxi stand right across from the hotel, and with just two crosswalks to cross, we could get in a taxi right away.

“Let’s try to act as naturally like regular civilians as possible.”

“Babe, last night was amazing.”

[Sorry about Unnie again…]

“Hye-won, if you’re a high schooler, shouldn’t you be heading to school?”

[I told you not to blurt out other people’s personal info like that!]

I swore to myself that when this was over I would never get involved with these two again.

As we waited for the crosswalk signal to change…

…She’s coming.

Mobia who was scanning the area as she wandered about was now approaching from this direction.

Signal… please, just turn green already…

“Babe, but do we really have to wait for the signal? We’re villains, shouldn’t we just jaywalk confidently?”

To stop Pyro Bomber from doing something stupid like openly drawing attention by jaywalking right in front of a hero, I locked arms with her and restrained her tightly.

Swoosh…

Mobia’s shadow suddenly came to a stop above us…

“……”

“……”

[……]

“……”

Even Pyro Bomber who had been rambling nonstop fell completely silent the moment Mobia appeared in front of us. Was she nervous?

“Ugh! That hurts! You were the same in bed last night. Why do you keep hurting me like this?”

“?”

“?”

[?]

“I didn’t think you were like that, babe. You really can’t control your own strength, huh?”

This crazy bitch, seriously…

“…Sorry.”

“Duh~ You should be sorry!”

“…….”

“Just sorry?”

“…What, then? What more do you want me to do?”

“Buy me a bag. Then I’ll forgive you.”

Okay, yeah—I did hurt her in bed.

She got caught trying to steal someone’s money after all, so how was I supposed to let that slide?

So all I did was flick her forehead, and even that was super gentle… but with Mobia watching us now, we had to play it cool.

We were acting like a couple in the middle of a little lovers’ quarrel, trying to be as natural as possible…

Then, as Mobia slowly descended to the area beside us, our eyes met.

“Wow! Aren’t you Hero Mobia? I’m a huge fan!”

Please, you crazy bitch.

We’re supposed to be running for our lives right now, remember??

“Haha…”

I smiled as naturally as I could and looked at Hero Mobia with wide, fascinated eyes…

Then, as she slowly approached us, she looked at me and casually said,

“You… you know me, right?”

“Babe, you knew Hero Mobia?”

The moment I heard that…

Pyro Bomber quietly slipped her hand toward the bomb’s trigger.

From an outsider’s perspective, this was a situation where anyone could easily mistake me for another hero, one who was somehow acquainted with Hero Mobia.

And to prevent the bomb I needed from detonating right here in the middle of the street…

I gently squeezed her hand.

“……?”

Holding Pyro Bomber’s hand softly, I continued my conversation with Hero Mobia.

“I remember. We met at that shop across from the pub. The one that exploded.”

“…Right. And next to you?”

“She’s my girlfriend.”

“Hello! Mobia-nim! You and my babe knew each other?! Babe, seriously~ You should’ve told me about stuff like this ahead of time!”

I think I did a good job of calming Pyro Boomer down as naturally as possible and giving Mobia an appropriate answer that wouldn’t make her suspicious..

…Is she mad…? She looks mad, doesn’t she…?

But for some reason, I got the distinct impression that Hero Mobia’s face was slowly filling with anger.