Chapter 75: Secrets

Released:

(POV Kaito)

No one said anything. In the dark room, no one spoke. I couldn’t help but wonder if something had happened, but since they themselves didn’t say anything, I had no choice but to wait for time to pass without saying anything either.

Lying sideways on the bed, I looked up at the dark ceiling. Perhaps my eyes had adjusted to the darkness since I could still see to some extent. However, I couldn’t sleep and just stared blankly ahead.

Next to me, it seemed Chiaki was sleeping, using my arm as a pillow and clutching the hem of my pajamas around her stomach.

Beside Chiaki, there were Chinatsu, Chiharu, and Chifuyu, each with their eyes closed. They must have fallen asleep already. We had quite an eventful day today, after all.

I, too, felt a bit tired, but I couldn’t seem to fall asleep. I couldn’t forget the state of the four of them, especially Chiaki. I don’t think they had a fight or anything…

The night grew longer. Lost in thought, I began to lose track of time.

“Kaito, are you still awake…?”

I was startled by that voice. When I turned my gaze toward the source of the sound, Chiaki was looking at me with sad eyes. There was a hint of fear as if she wanted to cling to me.

I wanted to embrace Chiaki, who seemed frightened.

“I’m awake,”

“Can you listen to me?”

“Yes,”

“Thank you…”

Both of us sat up from our lying position. Chiaki followed suit and sat up. Then she climbed onto me as I sat cross-legged, hugging me tighter than usual.

“You know… Kaito, do you have any secrets?”

“I do…”

“If you have secrets, does that mean we can’t be family?”

“Well…”

Clearly, something had changed. I wasn’t sure exactly what kind of change had occurred. Perhaps there was no change at all. Various thoughts crossed my mind, but for now, I needed to focus on answering her question…

Secrets… Secrets… I had always wanted you to share your secrets with me, but I also wanted to love you even if you didn’t. However, deep down, I hoped that one day you would open up and reveal them to me.

But then again, aren’t secrets something that everyone has? Regardless of the family or the relationships between people… I had repeatedly thought that it wasn’t right to fit my existing “knowledge” into the concept of secrets.

This is a world I don’t know. It’s only natural that there are unknown secrets as well. The idea that I have to know all of them is absurd.

So, my answer is…

“No, that’s not true. Everyone has secrets… And I believe it’s okay whether you choose to share them or not.”

“Yeah… I feel the same way… Even if we have secrets, we’re still family, right? Even if you have secrets, you’ll still hold me tight, won’t you, Kaito?”

“…Yeah.”

“…Thank you. That’s all I wanted to hear…”

“…I see.”

“…Kaito, there are things you don’t want to say, right?”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“…Ehehe, I’m glad. We’re in this together.”

Chiaki smiled, and I felt the strength of her embrace loosen slightly. I was at a loss for what to say at this moment, and my words got stuck in my throat.

Both she and I had our own secrets, and yet, even without revealing them, we were still family. I couldn’t help but accept that as the truth.

There was no need to forcefully uncover each other’s secrets. It seemed that as long as those secrets remained secrets, we could still be family, indefinitely…

“Do you have many things you don’t want to tell me, Chiaki?” I asked.

“Yes. There are… I don’t want them to be known. I don’t want to say them.”

Once again, I wanted to reassure Chiaki, who trembled with fear. I gently stroked her head. I wish I could do more for her, but it felt like that was the only thing I could offer. Yet, I wonder if this was truly enough…

Doubts began to arise within me. What Chiaki had said was correct, and I found myself accepting it as a way of thinking, a way for us to exist as a family.

But…

“Hey, Kaito.”

“What’s up?”

“I don’t know why, but I can’t fall asleep…”

“Do you want to use my phone and watch some videos or something?”

“That’s okay… I just want to stay like this. But, could you tell me an interesting story like you always do…”

“An interesting story, huh…”

“I want to hear an interesting story from you, Kaito…”

“If you say so, I’d love to… But I’ve been thinking, are my stories really interesting?”

“They are… Trust me, I find them really entertaining… So, please, tell me more.”

“I-I see…”

The change in atmosphere and being told that my stories are genuinely interesting made me feel slightly embarrassed. But if that’s what she wants right now, then I’ll do my best to come up with amusing stories until Chiaki falls asleep.

Hmm… Let me think. “A seller of buckets profits whenever the wind blows…” I’ve told her that one before. “Scary steamed buns… the haunted confectioner…”

Come to think of it, there was a time when a girl told me she wanted someone to listen to her stories.

“Since I also want to hear your stories, Chiaki, how about we take turns telling them?”

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

“Alright then. I’ll start…”

I made an effort to speak in the gentlest voice possible. She must have been tired after all. Midway through our conversation, Chiaki started to breathe softly before falling asleep.

In the dimly lit room, the moonlight cast a faint glow. It illuminated Chiaki’s face, her precious sleeping expression, full of tranquility.

What should I do for this child from now on? What should I do, and how should I move forward? What does it mean to be a family?

Even though I was plagued with uncertainty, there was no clear answer in sight.

◆◆

(POV Chiharu)

The conversations between Onii-san and Chiaki were not confined to just the two of them; no, the others must have overheard them, too. Chinatsu and Chifuyu pretended to be asleep, but I could tell they heard everything. I sensed it somehow. There was no concrete evidence, but looking at Chinatsu and Chifuyu’s faces in the morning, I just knew.

The four of us woke up in the same room and went about our usual morning routines of washing our faces and brushing our teeth. Onii-san returned to his usual room, leaving just the four of us together in this space.

As we changed from our pajamas into our regular clothes, Chinatsu spoke softly while avoiding eye contact.

“Yesterday… I’m sorry. It all happened so suddenly.”

“It’s fine… You don’t have to apologize… I… I also said too much yesterday… I’m sorry.” Chiaki said.

“Yeah…”

Amidst their short conversation, their eyes didn’t meet, and there was an unresolved tension in the air. Perhaps, if we were just normal… sisters, it would have been considered a fight. However, the four of us had always been together, and that was our norm and our comfort.

There was no way we could fight. Doing so would strip us of our support. That’s why, until now, whenever there was an issue between us, we would quickly make amends. Even if there were unresolved matters, we would push them deep down in our hearts and forget about them. That was how we maintained peace.

But… now, we have a new source of support. A sense of ordinary tranquility.

We no longer needed a reason to hold back and hesitate over things that we couldn’t agree with…

In the past, we would have ended our disagreements with smiles, without any lingering feelings. But now, it’s not like that anymore. The remnants of our past habits only manage to create the façade of reconciliation…

And if that façade were to crumble… just thinking about it saddens me… I want us to remain smiling, without any troubles, in peace.

Yes, in that case… should I agree with Chiaki’s perspective? I thought to myself that it should go without saying. We are family, even without words, and isn’t that the right answer? But this line of thinking would contradict Chinatsu’s perspective.

I absolutely can’t contradict Chinatsu… but I can’t… Perhaps my own thoughts are more aligned with Chiaki’s.

“…I don’t want to worry Kaito. So, we should make up.” Chiaki said.

“I understand that…”

It felt incomplete. There was a peculiar atmosphere enveloping the room. With time, it might gradually dissipate, but this kind of situation could happen again in the future. If only I could find the right words to mend their relationship. I looked at Chinatsu and Chiaki alternately, tempted to speak to them, but in the end, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I hate this.

It was unbearable to watch my sisters grow apart. We had no one but each other… I should be doing something, guiding them… But I couldn’t do anything. I had witnessed the changing dynamics for a long time.

Yet, I had been able to endure it because we were all together. Even if separation was inevitable, the present moment kept us going.

It was sad. I couldn’t stop their misunderstandings, couldn’t affirm or deny either of their opinions and couldn’t mediate between them. As I pondered on what to do, Chifuyu, who had been waiting for the right moment like me, took a step forward and interjected between the two.

“…Chifuyu thinks that… It’s supposed to be a fun trip for all of us, but ending it like this is terrible. I hate this atmosphere, and even if we put on fake smiles like this, I’m sure Kaito-san understands. He went through the trouble of bringing us all here, and I feel so sorry. So, both of you, please make up properly. That’s what I want.”

Chifuyu directed a pleading gaze at the two of them. She looked so sad, as if on the verge of tears. Seeing that expression on Chifuyu’s face, both Chiaki and Chinatsu were taken aback.

Realizing that things couldn’t continue like this, Chinatsu shook her head vigorously from side to side, signaling a change in her thinking. She took two deep breaths.

At that moment, Chiaki slapped her own cheeks with both hands.

“Alright! Let’s put an end to this gloomy atmosphere! It’s our last day here, so we should enjoy ourselves!”

“Yeah, you’re right! I’ll do the same!”

Seeing Chifuyu’s teary face, the two of them completely shifted gears. They were aware of their roles as older sisters, and it made me proud as the eldest sister. And Chifuyu, who had hesitated and hesitated but finally took a step forward, looked cool as well.

I couldn’t do anything… Once again. I couldn’t find any meaning in being unable to do anything at crucial moments like this.

It was only me who hadn’t done anything. While the two of them were indeed smiling, the fundamental issues remained unresolved.

Even with that much, I couldn’t find an answer.

◆◆

(POV Chinatsu)

“Should we buy some souvenirs or something?”

“Oooh! I want that!” Chiaki said.

“Which one?”

“Onii-san, it’s over there…”

Aki was pestering Kaito-san for the souvenir she wanted. Meanwhile, Haru was busy selecting various souvenirs, and I stood back, observing everything. Beside me was Fuyu.

In the morning, I had almost made Fuyu cry with my selfishness, and I realized how self-centered I had been. It was impossible for my opinions to always prevail. Siblings were never expected to have the same thoughts.

That bothered me. Why couldn’t she understand? My thoughts were correct. Isn’t it normal for family members to be able to say anything to each other? Wasn’t that what we were striving for?

There were things I wanted to say, things I wanted to express.

But what irritated me even more was that I couldn’t deny Aki’s words within myself. I ended up thinking that she was right, that her choice was the correct answer.

But her response was the complete opposite of mine. I thought it was inevitable for us to clash, and it made me annoyed, annoyed… and sad. I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t want to think about anxieties or failures.

However, I couldn’t help but feel the need to speak up… Not right away; it didn’t have to be now. Someday, whether it was a year from now or ten years from now, I had decided that I would say it.

If that was the case… I had to convince Aki. But if I suddenly told her, that stubborn person wouldn’t listen right away.

What should I do…

Oh, before thinking about that, I have to properly thank Fuyu first. It was thanks to her that we could maintain this pleasant atmosphere.

“Hey,”

“Hmm?”

I whispered in a small voice to Fuyu, who was standing beside me, making sure my words didn’t reach anyone else but her.

“Thank you for… stopping me earlier.”

“Oh, well, um… Since we’re sisters and all, it seemed natural, I guess…?”

“Yeah… but still, thank you.”

“You’re welcome…”

It had been a while since we had a secretive conversation between just the two of us. While we would often talk as a group of four, being alone together was more frequent last year when we were in the same class. But ever since we became a class of four, it was mostly all of us together.

Now, it was just the two of us…

Suddenly, I thought of something I wanted to tell Fuyu…

“You know, Fuyu, you don’t have to worry…”

“Huh?”

“I mean, it’s not in a weird way, but you can freely do your own thing without worrying about us… You don’t have to get involved in the conflicts between Aki and me anymore. Things have changed from before, so you should focus on yourself and move forward.”

Fuyu didn’t possess any supernatural powers. And while she might still have some insecurities, they probably weren’t as prominent anymore. If that was the case, there was no need to burden her with our troubles. I just wanted her to move forward, without looking back, and focus on her own path.

As an older sister, I wanted to show her one path, since I hadn’t been able to do much good for her until now. I had only been able to think about myself.

We were both changing, so I expressed that to her.

“I don’t want that… Because, you know, sisters are important. I want to worry and laugh together. I want to think together and never let anyone say or believe that we’re not connected. That’s the path Chifuyu has chosen…”

“…I see.”

Despite speaking with considerable determination, I was easily turned down. Is this meddling nature something she inherited from Kaito-san?

No, that’s not it. Fuyu has always been like this. The youngest and the fourth daughter. However, she was much more reliable and kind-hearted, with a stronger core, than me.

It’s just that some things change while others remain the same…

“You’re quite cheeky,”

“Well, I’m Natsu-nee’s younger sister after all,” Fuyu replied.

“Oh, look at you, saying such interesting things now…”

“Well, I’ve been trained by Aki-nee, Natsu-nee, and Haru-nee, after all…”

“Hmm… I’ll tickle you all over later.”

“Eeh… That’s a bit much.”

I feel like she didn’t use to say things like this in the past. I’m glad she’s changing for the better, but it’s my habit to tease her when she becomes too cheeky.

This is probably something that won’t change.

Things that change and things that stay the same… As I gazed at Fuyu beside me, trying to find the differences from the past, I noticed that Fuyu’s gaze was directed towards Kaito-san.

…Why is she looking at him like that?

Oh, could it be that she likes him? Well, that’s highly unlikely, but let’s tease her a bit, shall we?

“Oh, you’re staring at him so intently… Do you happen to like him?”

“Eeeh!?”

“Well, no need…. to overreact like that. It was just a joke.”

“Aah, I see…”

Her face went from flustered to relieved. Come to think of it, Fuyu often looks at Kaito-san’s face…

…No way… Nah, that can’t be… Such a thought is impossible, right?

An absurd idea crossed my mind.

Surely, that couldn’t be the case, right? Fuyu having romantic feelings for Kaito-san…

I looked at my younger sister, who was still casting a heated gaze, and strange suspicions arose within me.

*******************

TN: It’s ironic how Chinatsu is always the one talking about love and stuff but she’s the densest one of the bunch. She has mc potential.

5 responses to “Chapter 75: Secrets”

  1. Strlo Avatar
    Strlo

    Kaito and chiaki are half right, but totally wrong in this scenario. Yes, secrets are ok, but if one feels fear or anxiety over whether or not they should tell someone, then it becomes unhealthy, and needs to be aired. You should be able to tell people you are close with anything, and know it will be fine, but decide whether you need to. If you feel you can’t tell someone, then it changed relationships and hangs overhead. If she felt like she doesn’t need to tell him, such as it wouldn’t matter whether anything was said or not, then she would be right. But she doesn’t feel that way. She gets change. Which makes the secret important to the family dynamic. And those secrets will always come to light.

    1. age gap romance connoisseur Avatar
      age gap romance connoisseur

      Even Kaito, who fully comprehends that game knowledge is not equal to the future, isn’t sure if he would be able to keep a straight face if their secret comes out. And Chiaki recognizes this. This is less a matter of trust (or lack thereof) and more towards insecurity on both sides. I agree with your point though.

  2. oxtro Avatar
    oxtro

    Respect to Chifuyu. She was awesome stepping up there.

    I’m sure that deep down, Chiaki, like the other sisters, wants to tell Kaito everything and be accepted by him. It’s just a matter of when it’ll happen at this point.

    TY for the chapter.

  3. Minh Avatar
    Minh

    i read this to 4am just to see the sister gonna reveal the secret and how Kaito gonna react but Aki ruin everythings. :((((

  4. Anon Avatar
    Anon

    Like the other comment said, if it’s a secret that they’ll feel more relieved telling than not then it’s actually better to go ahead and say it

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