After finishing the day and returning to the dormitory, I took out my communication stone.
The communication stone, which was essentially this world’s version of a smartphone, bore many similarities to one in that it allowed for messaging and voice calls over long distances.
It didn’t have extra features like the internet or games, but in a fantasy world like this, what more could you ask for?
In some ways, encountering a piece of modern civilization in this fantasy world evoked a familiar sense of longing in me.
The price was ridiculously steep, so only high-ranking nobles used them, but thanks to the generosity of our wealthy heroines, I came into possession of one. I sent a message to share what had happened today.
[Salvation Room for Lifelong Single Women]
[Savior: Ah, can everyone see this clearly?]
[Princess: Yes, it’s clear. …But what exactly is this term ‘lifelong single’?]
[Saintess: Lifelong single women… Could it mean women who are committed to a lifetime of standing strong and setting an example? It’s a bit embarrassing, but I won’t deny it.]
[Cute Genius Great Mage: Oh. What the heck. So that’s how you saw us all along, huh?]
[Savior: Huh? No? ‘Lifelong single’ refers to someone who has literally never dated anyone since birth. A true single person, so to speak.]
[Princess: …]
[Saintess: …]
[Cute Genius Great Mage: …]
[Savior: By the way, your username, young lady …]
[Cutie Genius Great Mage: What! Why? What! This is my personal communication stone, okay?! And I’m cute and a genius, so there’s nothing wrong with calling myself that!]
[Princess: You’re probably the only one who could say that out loud with such confidence. Anyway, Mars? Calling us lifelong singles…. that’s seriously insulting—]
[Savior: Alright, alright. Here’s a hot update on Pollo. According to what I asked today, Pollo said he’s still not interested in dating. Since he spent most of his life holed up in the countryside, he said he wants to focus more on experiencing new and different things rather than romance.]
[Saintess: Then what should we do? If that’s how Brother Pollo feels, doesn’t that mean he wouldn’t accept our confessions even if we made them?]
[Noble Lady: Exactly. Our path is already blocked before we even start! Is this what we paid you for?!]
[Savior: Oh? You changed your username, Noble Lady? No matter what, having an embarrassing name like that does bother you after all.]
[Noble Lady: Don’t change the subject!]
[Savior: Just kidding. For now, none of you should make a move. If you approach Pollo just to get his attention, it could unintentionally start rumors, and that might actually make him distance himself emotionally.]
[Princess: Judging by how seriously you’re talking, you must have a plan, don’t you?]
[Savior: Yes. I’ll need your help. More precisely, the help of people you know.]
[Saintess: People we know?]
[Savior: Do any of you happen to have acquaintances who are couples?]
***
The next day, I left the dormitory with Pollo to head to school.
Thankfully, we were assigned to neighboring rooms, so we could continue living together just like before, without any awkwardness.
Pollo wanted to make new friends, but he was still reluctant to drift away from me, his closest friend, so he was genuinely happy that we became neighbors in the dorms too.
It was the same for me. Since I needed to keep up with the latest information on Pollo for the heroines, it was better to have him nearby to observe.
“Hey Mars. I heard the first-year combat specialty students have group training coming up soon. Are you ready for that?”
“Ooh. More or less.”
I was half-listening to Pollo chattering beside me while looking around for something.
As we entered the academy grounds and walked across the campus, I spotted the people I had been expecting and immediately set the plan into motion.
“Hey, Pollo. Look over there.”
“Hm? Look at what?”
“That couple over there. Don’t they look good together?”
Where I pointed, there was a couple sitting close together on a bench, engaged in a public display of affection.
Though the morning air was still chilly, the heat between them must have been enough to ward it off. There seemed to be a shimmer in the air around them, as if the temperature in their little bubble was different.
“Whoa, that’s a nice picture!”
“It’s still a bit cold in the morning… wouldn’t it be better if they dressed warmer or stayed indoors?”
Oh, Pollo. Are you serious?
Come on, at the very least you could’ve said something like, “They look good together~” to show a little empathy. I didn’t bring you here just to have you worry about their body temperature.
It made me wonder if the vaccines he got as a kid had wiped out every last one of his romance cells.
“Let’s go in already. I need to study for today’s quiz!”
“…Yeah. Let’s do that.”
And so, Pollo and I left the affectionate couple behind and headed into the building.
As anyone might have guessed from what I said earlier, that couple had been personally recruited by the heroines.
This was what we called the “Like clothes getting soaked in a drizzle” operation.
(TN: An idiom that means that something happens gradually and subtly over time without you even realizing it.)
I had asked people who were in relationships that were brought in through our heroines’ personal connections to show as much affection as possible at designated locations.
And at the planned time, I would take Pollo to the spots where those couples were waiting, gradually exposing him to the concept of romance, once, then twice…this was the core of this operation.
Pollo, who was practically born riding the clichés of a visual novel protagonist, was utterly hopeless when it came to reading emotions related to romance or women.
In other words, in terms of relationships with the opposite sex, he was basically at the level of a newborn.
Just like how forcing carrots or bell peppers on little kids only makes them hate the vegetables more, trying to push a guy who still wanted to play freely into dating would only make him resist even more.
As if he were the quintessential male lead, his sense of aesthetics didn’t help at all. Even the heroines’ inhuman levels of beauty only elicited a casual “Oh, I see” from him, offering no aid in romantic matters.
So rather than forcing the appeal of feminine charm on him, it was better to expose him to the idea of romance in a way that would make him unconsciously familiar with it, maybe even spark some interest.
“Pollo, look over there. Another couple.”
“Yeah. There is.”
“Don’t they look amazing together? Seriously, what a good-looking pair.”
“Yeah.”
“Even the assistants have couples? Is this one of those ‘love blooms even among slaves’ kind of situations?”
“Seems like it.”
…….
….
…
“What the hell is wrong with this guy?”
Long story short, the plan failed miserably.
Over the course of three days, I showed him more than a dozen couples in an attempt to awaken the dormant romance cells inside him, but all Pollo did was cycle through the same three responses: “Yeah,” “I see,” and “Right.” He showed zero interest in the act of romance itself.
On top of that, his attitude toward me seemed to grow colder and colder…
Since he was a person and a man, at that….it made no sense to me that he could show absolutely no interest in the opposite sex. His reactions left me utterly confused.
Some might even wonder if Pollo was actually a girl, but despite his somewhat pretty appearance for a guy, he was definitely male.
We’d taken baths together a few times when we were younger, so I was sure of it.
Knock, knock.
“Mars… it’s me.”
“Pollo?”
While I was lost in thought, someone knocked on the door. When I opened it, I saw Pollo standing there in his pajamas.
“What’s going on? It’s almost bedtime.”
“…I just needed to talk for a moment. Can I come in?”
“…Yeah, come on in.”
I had been a little curious about his behavior, but I didn’t think much of it and let him in.
Pollo walked into my room and, with the ease of familiarity, sat down quietly in my chair.
“So, what did you want to talk about?”
As I sat at the edge of my bed to get things started, Pollo hesitated, then finally spoke with a trembling voice. He looked to be on the verge of tears.
“Mars… do you not want to be friends with me anymore?”
“Huh?”
What the heck was that supposed to mean?
“Lately, you’ve been so focused on couples… it kind of felt like you wanted to abandon me and start dating someone… I mean, I know I fall short compared to you, and I can be annoying, but… if you don’t want to be my friend anymore, I won’t stop you.”
“No, no, no….hold on! How did the conversation take that turn?!”
This was what Pollo had to say.
Lately, he had noticed me paying attention to couples instead of him, and he thought that meant I wanted to get a girlfriend soon, so he believed I was subtly telling him to stop hanging around me and give me space.
Even though Pollo seemed like someone who would be incredibly popular, the girls who were drawn to his looks ended up keeping each other in check, so none of them dared approach him easily. The other boys either felt intimidated or jealous of his appearance, so no one genuinely tried to become close with him.
Because of that, even though it had been nearly a month since we enrolled, I was still the only person Pollo could really call a friend.
On top of that, our heroines hadn’t approached him yet, since they were waiting for a more natural opportunity to meet him. So he didn’t have a romantic partner to open up to either.
In the midst of all that, seeing me constantly interested in couples must have made him think that I was blaming him for getting in the way of me finding a girlfriend and that I was trying to push him away on purpose.
In short, Pollo hadn’t cared at all about the romantic relationships of the hired couples I’d been showing him. What he’d really been focused on the whole time was my reaction.
“Haa…”
Even in the game, I’d thought that the main character Pollo’s choices and dialogue were strangely indifferent when it came to women. But I hadn’t expected it to be to this extent.
“Uuuh…”
Pollo must’ve taken my sigh as a sign that I’d made up my mind because tears as big as marbles began falling from his wide eyes.
“Pollo. That’s not it. The reason I was paying attention to those couples was… well, I just got a little curious since you didn’t seem interested in romance at all. That’s all it was. Nothing more.”
“…Really?”
“Yeah, man. It’s not like there are any girls out there who like me anyway. With this face? Who’s gonna want to be my girlfriend?”
Maybe he sensed the sincerity in my words, because Pollo smiled again, just like before.
In the end, I scrapped the failed operation and started coming up with a new plan. At the same time, I spent the rest of the late night chatting away with Pollo. Partly to make up for how hurt he felt.
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